Puppets are one of the most powerful assets of society. This may sound ridiculous and that is perfectly okay. Puppets are ridiculous. However, with the help of a puppeteer, puppets have the advantage of scrutinizing and commentating on life through their own unique lens. Of course, humans understand that puppets are the instrument of a puppeteer, but this doesn’t reduce their value. The important thing about puppetry is that humans are not the ones performing, but rather guiding. The inanimate object is performing and that is what makes puppets so captivating. Puppets have acted as valuable teaching tools for centuries, guiding the audience to empathize and learn. Puppets can spark change and emotion as no other art or communication form can; this power should be understood by the puppeteer and used to reach larger audiences of all ages to discuss important issues and events in the world. Allowing humans to observe life challenges through the lens of puppets would cultivate greater empathy, understanding, and rationality in their hearts and minds.
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I admire your earnest attempt to grapple with an enigma, Flatbread. And you’ve done a nice job in both of your Model Openings of poking at the intricacies. If I’m already interested in reality versus illusion, or if I’m already intrigued by puppets or theater in general, I’ll probably be comfortable giving you a paragraph to gradually warm to the topic, but if you’re going to bury the lede toward the end of your opening, you should make it more of a “ta-da!” moment.
Personally, I would identify puppets much earlier as your true topic. And in either paragraph, I would be sure my first sentence had a very robust Subject and Verb. At the moment, yours are:
1. Theater is; it will hold
2. There is; line exists
When reality and illusion and puppets are at your disposal, it’s a shame to waste your first sentence on “it” and “line.”
What’s the real subject of your first sentence? THEATRE. What’s the robust verb? HIDE? CLOAK? CONCEAL? SUPPRESS?
What’s the real subject of your second version? I’m not sure. UNREALITY? IRREALITY? ARTIFICIALITY? I know it’s not There; I know it’s not Line.
I hope this was helpful, Flatbread, but even if it’s not, I need your response to show you respect the feedback process. Thanks!
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This is incredibly helpful! I will be sure to address PUPPETS earlier on. I will also be sure to add some humor to address how ridiculous puppets really are, despite how seriously we take them sometimes. Do you like how I am grappling with “real” vs “imaginary” in this opening? I just want to make sure it fits ok and won’t send me off track.
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Nothing makes me happier than being incredibly helpful. 🙂
I do like very much that you’re grappling with real vs. imaginary. AND I want to remind you that nothing in theater is real, so . . . puppets are just another setting on the Unreality dial. There’s real death, actors playing death, actors playing someone pretending death, . . . puppets!
Thank you for responding. Let me know when more questions arise. And I’m very happy to hear The Sentence is holding your interest.
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Two more things.
1. Keep your sense of humor. Puppets can help us face tough realities, but they’re always amusing illusions. If your paragraph ended with “But all of that philosophizing disappears when a puppet sits in our lap,” you can have your cake and eat it too.
2. Be one of the people. When you talk about what people do, you set yourself aside from or above all humans. Readers resent that. Use “we” instead of “people.” What do “we” do in the theater?
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