Visual Rewrite- Queen Random

0:00- 0:04 The video opens on a dim bar mostly lit by candlelight. There are bottles in the background and a man in what looks to be a uniform just handed a smiling man in a flannel a drink. A bartender just gave the man in a flannel a drink. In the forefront of the frame are two other men engaged in conversation both with drinks in their hands. They all look like they’re having a fun time enjoying themselves because they are smiling. The man in the flannel shirt looks very drunk because he stumbles and looks down at his cup.

0:05- 0:08 The next thing we see is a guy holding a red solo cup. A man in a blue shirt and an apron is flipping food on a grill. We can see buns, ketchup, and mustard. The people surrounding him are sitting on benches and in the background, we can see trees. He goes to drink it and makes a questioning look, almost wondering, if he’s had enough. 

0:08-0:09 We go to a tailgate and a man in a red and white shirt is celebrating looking happy also with a red solo cup. Everyone in this scene is wearing some variation of red white and blue. In the background we can see what looks to be a sports field gate. Directly behind the man in the red and white shirt, we see an SUV. The man is sitting on the back of a white pickup truck. In front of the man are bottles of alcohol, a bowl of chips, and napkins.

0:10-0:11 We go back to the man in the flannel shirt and he digs into his pocket looking for something, we don’t know what.

0:12-0:13 We go back to the man at the barbeque reaching out of his pocket and pulling his car keys looking concerned. 

0:14-0:15 Someone off-screen throws the guy in the white shirt their keys and he catches them quickly with a smile on his face looking happy.  

0:16-0:17 The guy in the flannel shirt has his keys in his hand and looks up, to us, concerned, questioning if he should keep them. We his internal fight, his eyebrows are furrowed and he looks confused. Until he looks away in resolve putting the keys down out of the camera frame. 

0:18-0:19 The barbecue guy looks off-camera and smiles. nod to himself in resolution ‘ I’m drunk I shouldn’t drive.’ and safely put his keys back into their pocket.

 0:20- 21 We see a shot of the keys in the man with the flannel’s hand. He reaches and puts the keys into his pocket. We see the trees and the bench from the blue shirt’s barbecue behind a blue and brown backpack where keys are thrown into the pocket on the side.

 0:21-0:30 The man in the white shirt tosses the keys back offscreen. We see him get into the back of a car and put on his seatbelt. On the screen, we’re shown the words “ Plan Ahead. Catch a Sober Ride. Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving.” 

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3 Responses to Visual Rewrite- Queen Random

  1. davidbdale says:

    You’ve chosen a popular video for this assignment, QueenRandom. I’ve been interacting with several students about it, all of whom have written much more detailed analyses of the first few seconds than you have. You don’t have to agree with me, but I contend every visual aspect of these videos is a carefully chosen part of the argument the creators of the video are making and therefore worthy of mentioning in your analysis of the Rhetoric of these Visuals.

    Here’s the exchange I had with Sunflower over the same video.

    The difference between the Visual and the Rhetorical halves of the assignment, Sunflower, is that we can accurately describe what we’re seeing, but we HAVE TO GUESS about WHY the directors made the choices they made.

    Fortunately, our brains help us in both assignments. It recognizes people, objects, and settings in enough detail for us to tell our readers WHAT WE SEE. And it’s ALWAYS DRAWING JUDGMENTS from what it sees, based on context. Whatever our brains GUESS about WHY the filmmakers are using a visual is what we want to communicate in the Rhetoric portion of the assignment.

    0:01: The commercial opens up in a dark room with soft lighting.

    Big room or small? Empty or full of furniture and fixtures? Any indication of day or night? Occupied or not occupied. Soft lighting like a fireplace in the corner, or like muted Christmas light strings, or like several small lamps or sconces? A generally comforting atmosphere, or dark with danger and menace?

    The camera is focused on and slowly moving towards a young African American man casually dressed in a flannel and white shirt.

    Every character, whatever their other purposes, is cast for their age, body type, race, gender, social status, and attractiveness. You’ve identified age, race, perhaps social status. You haven’t mentioned others. Is the subject here by himself? Are there others nearby? Is he with them? Is he alone by choice? Does he have a wingman offscreen? Is he waiting for friends? Did he come straight from work, or change in between? Does he work? At what? Does he want to go home alone? Would he prefer a woman or a man to take home?

    He is turning away from a bar with a drink in his hand.

    A drink is vague. Is it a bottle of beer? A glass? A rocks glass with rocks and liquor? A mixed drink with a straw? A red Solo cup? What’s in it? Is it his first? Any indication it will be his last? Of course you can’t BE SURE. You’re being given hints. What do the hints tell you?

    Behind him a bartender is blurred and there are multiple liquor bottles behind the bartender.

    Upscale place or neighborhood dive or something in between? If it’s in-between, the TYPE of bar might not be important. If it’s pricey-looking or cheap-beer looking, the TYPE of bar might be very significant.

    In front of the African American man are two other blurred men having a conversation with each other, they each have a drink in their hand as well.

    Are the blurred men also African-American? Does our Subject interact with them? Deliberately avoid them? Try but fail to connect? And, does the isolation from others I’m sensing here happen deliberately or accidentally? (Answer: Nothing is accidental in these videos. That’s the rule.) Are we supposed to think of this character as social, anti-social, socially awkward, lonely and hopeful, or is the only important relationship him and his “drink”?

    I think this character and place were chosen to relate to what people tend to do on a Friday or Saturday night.

    Sure, but for various reasons. There will be a MESSAGE to any visual narrative that shows up on your device. Will this one be about people’s interactions with one another or their interactions with their drinks? Your GUESS can’t be WRONG unless the filmmakers completely FAILED YOU. They try to put thoughts in your head; your job is to communicate to us what thoughts you had.

    Many people have the same experience as this man and spend time at a bar to have fun.

    Yes, they do, and that could easily be the case with your Subject. Is that the primary impression you’re given by the first second or two?

    Is that helpful, QueenRandom? Please Reply, and put your work back into Feedback Please following substantial improvements. You’ll need to enhance your work throughout, not just the first second, to justify further feedback. Hope to hear from you.


  2. queenrandom04 says:

    regrade please


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