visual rewrite-pinkheart

0:01: A middle aged Asian woman with straight black hair wearing a long sleeve shirt and a t shirt on top of it, is on the phone. She is smiling and laughing on the phone which means she is having a good conversation. The camera moves and follows her as she walks around the kitchen talking. She is in the kitchen which looks old and outmoded. Her arm glides across the counter as she is talking on the phone. One of her sleeves is pushed up her arm leading us to believe she may have just finished cooking since she is in the kitchen. The kitchen is very clean so the food could be already made.

0:02: The camera turns to a old man with glasses, short, thin. His hair is gray so we know that he is old. His glasses are big and black which means his eyesight isn’t very good. This man is possibly the woman’s father. He is sitting at the kitchen table and eating what could be the meal the woman had made for him. The camera moves closer to the old mans face to show that he is eating. He is wearing a light green collared button down shirt which is very dressy meaning he may have had a stable job or is wealthy. 

0:03: The camera moves again to show that the woman is sitting across from him at the kitchen table. We know that it is the same woman because the straighten dark hair gets in a small clip. The older man starts smiling and looks happy. This may be for several reasons: she made him a meal and he is thankful, she sat with him as he eats and he enjoys the company, or she mentioned something funny on the phone. 

0:04: Now the camera is facing the living rooming, showing up the old man and the woman. The old man is hunched over with his coat on and with his hand on the door nob which means he is leaving. They are both wearing masks. The woman is holding his back which shows he is unstable and old. 

0:05: The woman places a plastic bag in his pocket which can mean that the old man is going to the store. Now that the camera shows us a better view of the house we can infer that it is the old mans because it looks antiquated. 

0:06: The woman is by herself in a dining room, she looks quite stressed and overwhelmed. We see that she is placing different pills in different containers. This can be easy to infer that these pills are for her father and she needs to make sure he is taking the right doses each day. We see multiple different pill bottles which leads us to believe that the old man is taking different supplements. As she is organizing the pills, we see the wedding band on her ring finger, this means she has partner who she may miss because she is constantly taking care of her father. 

0:07: The camera goes up close to the womans face and her head turns as if she is being altered by something. This doesn’t alarm her or cause her anymore stress so we assume it is not the father. This may have been a random noise, phone call, tv, or someone at the door. 

0:08-0.10: The woman is helping her father get dressed in a bedroom. We can infer that she takes care of him daily since he changing and wearing different outfits. We can infer that her father is getting sicker each day by how he looks thinner and pale. After he is dressed, the woman lightly pulls the shirt down on the arms which shows that the father is having great weight loss. In the bedroom there is a lamp with fringes on the bottom and curtains that is multicolored with green and yellow. 

0:11-0:12: The woman is sitting at the dining room table and the camera shows the old man and the woman. The old man is sitting on the couch with the remote in his hand turning up the tv because he cannot hear it. The woman sitting at the table is on her laptop. The woman looks back and turns her head just a little bit as the tv got louder. She looks irritated and annoyed. This is probably because she had to do something on the computer that needed concentration and now she cant because of how loud the tv is. The camera zooms in on the woman showing her blinking fast and rolling her eyes which shows how irritable she is. She then puts on her headphones and continues working on the computer. 

0:13: The woman is laying in the same bedroom that she was in to dress her father. This shows that she may live with her father or is she is staying there. We know that it is the same bedroom because we see the lamp and curtains again. She is on her phone and shaking her head in an overwhelmed kind of way. We can definitely see how stressed out she is with taking care of her father.

0:14- 0:15-: The camera moves back showing a more wide version of how she is laying down and a box appears on the screen. We see the search bar on her phone and she starts to type the words “Medicare tips”. This shows that she really wants help and be there for her father but it is stressing her out and she is not sure if she can take it on alone. We can infer that she is alone because no one else has appeared in the video so far. 

0:16-0:17: The women is rummaging through a box of files and then the camera goes out wider to show her face and how focused she is to find whatever she is looking for. The boxes are sitting on top of a workout machine showing the clutter and that there is no time for exercise in the house. 

0:18-0:19:  The woman is sitting at a desk. Her hand is covering her face as if she is beyond stressed and overwhelmed. She also seems exhausted because her arm is leaning on the table. She has been going through more files since we see them stacked on top of the desk. 

0:20- 0:21: The woman is looking out the window where it is sunny and she still is upset. This can definitely show her struggles and hard time. She could be feeing alone or in need of help.

0:22: The old man is sitting in his chair reading a book when the woman runs to him with a type of ipad in her hand. She gets down on her knees to be level with him and to show him something. The woman is wearing blue jeans and a plaid shirt. 

0:23-0:24: The camera is zoomed in on their faces because we see the woman smile. She is laughing with the old man and seems genuinely happy. This could be because of something on the ipad or because they are together

0:25-0:26:  The woman is putting a pot outside and the words show up on the screen. We can only see her hands but we know it’s the same woman because she is wearing the jeans and plaid shirt as before. 

0:27-0:30: The camera moves to her face where you can see how relieved she is to be doing something that is not causing her stress anymore. 

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1 Response to visual rewrite-pinkheart

  1. davidbdale says:

    You’ve chosen a popular video to analyze, PinkHeart. In fact, I’ve already left very detailed commentary on the version done by PinkMonkey. A lot of what I said to PM would apply to your observations here, too, PH, so, with your permission, I’m going to share the PinkMonkey feedback with you.


    A detailed analysis of the first second of video usually helps as advice, PinkMonkey. Let’s try it. I’ll react to your descriptions WITHOUT WATCHING the video.
    0:01- In this opening scene you get a young asian decent woman with black straight hair on the phone and walking parallel to the counter while dragging her hand across the edge.

    You mean a young woman of Asian descent, PinkMonkey. Do we know she’s Asian BECAUSE of her hair? Walking parallel to the counter toward the camera? Or walking across the screen perpendicular to the camera angle? In other words, walking toward us? away from us? What’s the counter? Workshop bench? Food prep kitchen? Restaurant? Office? Home kitchen? On a cell phone? A corded landline? A hands-free headset? Significance of the dragging hand? Keeping her balance? Lost in thought?

    The difference between the Visual and the Rhetorical halves of the assignment, PinkMonkey, is that we can accurately describe what we’re seeing, but we HAVE TO GUESS about WHY the directors made the choices they made.

    Is the Asian woman in a big room or a small one? Is it empty, or full of furniture and fixtures? Any indication of day or night? Occupied or not occupied by anyone other than her? Is the lighting artificial or natural? Any windows to indicate time of day? How about outside the windows: any indication of where the room is? A generally comforting atmosphere, or dark with danger and menace? Are we hopeful for her? Afraid what might happen? Sympathetic?

    Fortunately, our brains help us jump to conclusions about all these questions and countless others. Filmmakers manipulate what they know will be our reactions. If the “ad” is successful, WHAT WE FEEL is what THEY WANT US TO FEEL.

    Our brains recognize people, objects, and settings in enough detail for us to tell our readers WHAT WE SEE. At the same time, our brains ALWAYS DRAW JUDGMENTS from what they see, based on context. Whatever our brains GUESS about WHY the filmmakers are using a visual is what we want to communicate in the Rhetoric portion of the assignment.

    Every character, whatever their other purposes, is cast for their age, body type, race, gender, social status, and attractiveness. You’ve identified age, race, gender, but not much else. You haven’t mentioned others. Is the subject here by herself? Are there others nearby? Is she with them? Is she alone by choice? Is she at work? At home?

    She seems interested in the conversation because she has a big smile by the end of second 1.
    Why her? Why the young Asian woman?

    The kitchen looks old and outdated for a woman of her age so it’s to be assumed she is in a parents home or maybe a grandparent.

    Brilliant. Whether your conclusion is TRUE or NOT does not make it wrong. You’re sharing the IMPRESSION created in you, the viewer, from the VISUALS that the Authors (filmmakers in this case) have shown you. Thank you for identifying the room as the kitchen. All other questions about the environment remain to be answered. If it later turns out that your Subject is in her own home, you’ll have to explain either WHY the filmmakers were justified in “tricking you” at first, or THAT they simply failed to communicate clearly.

    The girl is wearing a long sleeve shirt with a t- shirt on top, this is important because the arm that is touching the counter has its sleeve rolled up causing me to believe she has just finished cooking.

    I love this attention to the wardrobe. I can’t tell whether you mean both sleeves are rolled. You seem to be suggesting that she rolled the sleeve of her preferred arm (lefty-righty) to perform a chore and left the other unrolled. Is there a finished dish to indicate she’d been cooking. Might she have been cleaning? What else can we see? The countertops? Tools? Cookware? Fixtures that indicate age or quality of fittings? Decor? Cheerfulness/Drabness/Neglect?

    You know she is finished cooking because the counters are completely clean and so is she which means she has already cleaned up the kitchen mess.

    Beautiful. It’s a lot to conclude. You’re reacting to what you see and reporting it. Bravo. How do we know she cooked before cleaning?

    The camera is also moving and following her as she moves across the kitchen as well as it is placed outside of the doorframe to the kitchen.

    How come? Does our view feel invited? Clandestine? Are we eavesdropping? Was it staged? Is this a casual moment that could have been caught by anyone standing in the dining room? Is that where we’re standing? Or are we outdoors looking in?

    Not EVERYTHING matters, PinkHeart, but ALMOST EVERYTHING does, and we don’t know for sure in the first few seconds what DOES and what DOESN’T. So the best review of the opening moments describes EVERYTHING that occurs to us from the details we’re shown.

    Later, we can start to mention patterns. But for now, everything MIGHT BE the beginning of an argument.

    Does that help you in general, PinkHeart? You’re entitled to your own feedback, of course, but this might help you with a round of revisions, right? You can share your revised post with me at any time. Just put it back into Feedback Please.


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