Class 09 TUE FEB 14
Riddle
- Is the snake consciously baiting the bird?
- Did the snake consciously evolve this amazing adaptive development?
- Leave your thoughtful replies (or jokes) in the Reply field along with the rest of your daily class Notes.
Wake Up
Totally Intuitive
UPDATE ON THE IDEA OF TREATING PANHANDLERS TO A MEAL.
I don’t like to be the person who’s always asking disturbing questions and frightening my students with dire predictions. I mean, I’ll do it if nobody else rises to the responsibility, but I’m quite benevolent and positive in my nature, so it pleases me to share this lovely gesture-as-custom from France:
Housekeeping
- Feedback Please (with Guidance)
- Open any of your posts (Citations, Summaries, Claims, Stone Money)
- Add the post to the Feedback Please Category
- Leave a Reply on the post to help your professor provide the sort of feedback you would prefer.
- Grades
- I have graded your Purposeful Summaries in Canvas.
- I will begin today to grade your White Papers and Stone Money posts.
- Grades can be improved after they’re posted, but . . .
- . . . Feedback will be more substantial and helpful in advance. If you’re serious about grade improvement, give me a Guided Feedback Please request BEFORE your first grade is posted.
Writing Mechanics
- Paragraph Size
- One Main Idea per Paragraph
- Live Demo
- One Main Idea per Paragraph
- “The Glacier Freeze Reply”
- Tweaking your Citation Technique
- Specific Details
- Rhetorical Surrender
- Why you should never use Rhetorical Questions.
Today’s New Material
- A Demonstration of Claims Analysis
- Finding and Analyzing Claims In a video
- “Let’s Harvest the Organs of Death Row Inmates”
- Critical Reading Model: Donor Execution
Dev
Joe Gramigna
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Anonymous
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Public Display Name
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Water
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Counterintuitive Spring 2023 
1. The snake is moving its tail similar to an insect, and doesn’t seem to be surprised when the bird flies over. The snake is doing the surprising.
2. It is pretty clear that the snake has a few adaptations to allow it to easily lure birds. The only part of it’s body that moves is it’s tail, which attracts the bird.
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Granted, but is the snake consciously baiting the bird? Did the snake consciously evolve to bait birds?
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Feb 14 Comp Notes
Class began with three quotes “writing is revision”, “revision is remodeling, not dusting the furniture”, “this is a rewriting course”. These quotes give you an understanding of what writing is really about; it is a part of writing to go back and alter your paper for the better.
We then began a riddle about a snake and a bird which was followed up with a short video.
A mirror paradox was the next topic in class. We looked at different picture references. Many celebrities were used such as scarlet Johanson and Barack Obama. The pictures were going into detail on the truth behind mirrors, how it does not flip vertically and how it actually is displayed.
A common misconception with mirrors is that we believe something has changed within the mirror itself, but in reality, our perception of ourselves has altered.
We then ended class with writing mechanics, where paragraph size as well as key details were discussed. These are big parts of writing that can always be improved, having a clear understanding of how to execute these things will impact your writing tremendously.
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Punctuation rule that will blow your mind.
I told you periods and commas ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS go inside the quotation marks. HERE is where it matters and seems insane.
THIS is correct:
Class began with three quotes “writing is revision,” “revision is remodeling, not dusting the furniture,” and “this is a rewriting course.”
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—Good Note
—Useless Note.
—It can be seen in the Agenda.
—What was the purpose of the Riddle? the Video?
—What if anything did you learn from it?
—Did you answer the questions:
1. Was the snake consciously baiting the bird?
2. Did the snake consciously evolve to bait birds?
—20/80
—Mirrors do not flip horizontally.
—If anything, they flip front to back.
—It’s almost impossible for us to talk ourselves out of our perception that mirrors flip horizontally.
—50/50
—”our perception of ourselves has altered”?
—Useless Note.
—Every paragraph should develop a single Main Idea.
—Paragraphs that run off the top and bottom of the page probably contain several main ideas and should be separated into more than one.
—”It” and “this” are dangerous. They substitute for the specific details that make essays persuasive. Avoid them. Replace them with the specific details that comprise a Summary or an Argument, or both.
—”These” is just as bad as “It” and “This.”
You’re new to Notes, Jasrielle.
I haven’t had a chance to beat you up about them yet.
This was my chance.
2/4
(Your goal is 4/4. Exemplary Notes can earn 5/4.)
—DSH
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– (Guess): I feel like the snake did consciously bait the bird because I think the snake knew the bug was right next to him but he also knew that there was a chance that a bird could come and try to snatch the bug, and I think in knowing that, it just waited patiently to get the bigger prey, and it succeeded.
-(Actual answer): Snakes actually have a tip on their tale that looks like a bug, and they actually use them to lure their prey, which is birds.
-Mirrors do not flip anything left to right. It flips front to back. Really, mirrors don’t really flip a darn thing. We see ourselves just the way we are, just front to back if that makes sense.
-For water, there was an idea that if you had rights to draw 1,000,000 gallons of water, and you draw 500,000 in 2021, then you only have rights to 500,000 in 2022 because it is 1,000,000 minus the amount you drew in 2021 that determines the rights you have the next year. It is a dumb idea.
-You can definitely ask for a feedback request, but ask BEFORE the grade on an assignment is posted because there are 45 students and feedback takes an hour per student, so do it before hand.
-Sentences can even be described as a small essay. They can be centered around 1 main idea and get your point across.
When writing purposeful summaries, you shouldn’t really write this or it because you want to get your purpose to be fulfilled by making the actual summary being very detailed.
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We began todays class with a riddle. Do snakes consciously bait the prey that they trick when they camoflauge themselves, or is it automatic? How much of the credit does evolution get? I believe that the snake deserves most of the credit, as he used the birds prey to make the bird his prey when the birds prey wasn’t even there. We then segued into the “mirror paradox”. The paradox states that a mirror causes people to see the opposite of what they actually look like, because all of their features are flipped. The truth is a mirror does not flip things left-to-right, it flips them front-to-back. Next we talked about water rights, and the Colorado River conflict that is sort of happening right now. We talked about the “suspended coffee” which is a concept common in France where people can pay for stuff to be left and enjoyed by less fortunate people for free. Then we talked about avoiding IT and THIS. This allows people to go more in depth with their responses, and really separates something from a summary and a purposeful summary.
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I think if it’s literally a response created from time and evolution it can’t be a conscious decision any animal is making. It’s a thing they automatically do because of the way they’ve evolved to survive. the next exercise was about mirrors and perceptions based on position. He talked about how the Colorado River faces threats because of water rights and how the conversations we have in class relate to the real world. We did housekeeping to put at least one of our previously turned-in assignments under the category of ‘feedback please’. We then went over an example essay while Hodges suggested ways in the future the author of the essay can improve in the future. We went over another stone money essay to show us that it’s important that we don’t over-explain what the quote we’ve chosen already does for itself. The next example showed the importance of actually writing what you’re referencing rather than talking in generalities. Then we went over the disadvantage of using rhetorical questions while writing because asking questions makes the reader respond instead of being convinced of your opinion.
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Riddle: The snake’s skin looks to have evolved in such a way that allows it to camouflage completely in this environment. However I do not believe the snake did this camouflage consciously, or that any species evolves consciously. This happened over generations of snake families that had lived in this environment, and over time they adapted this skill to aid with hunting.
Mirrors: It is said that they “flip” images, however, this is a common misconception. Mirrors do not flip anything, they just reflect what has entered the mirror’s view. Your left hand will still be on the left side of the mirror, etc., but since the letters on your shirt will appear to be backward, many think this is a “flip”.
Paragraphs are mini-essays. Sentences are mini-essays. Structure papers so that each argument is separated from the others. No run-on paragraphs.
Don’t waste time explaining things that’ve already been explained.
**Beware of IT or THIS language** – briefly elaborate on what IT is.
**Don’t put yourself on DEFENSE- Don’t ask rhetorical questions in your essay.**
*Don’t make accusations toward the readers*
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Daily Riddle
-the snake is consciously baiting the bird by utilizing its evolutionary adaptations
Mirror images
-mirror images are difficult for us to comprehend due to the fact that we are so used to perceiving them without actually thinking about them. When we are required to think deeper and more counterintuitively, we can find alternate meanings and ideas for things that are commonly overlooked.
Writing mechanics
-one main idea per paragraph: since each paragraph functions as its own mini essay
-beware of “it” and “this”: make sure your purposeful summaries are equal parts ‘purposeful’ (opinion and attitude) and ‘summary’ (information the reader needs to know)
-rhetorical surrender: rhetorical questions immediately take away your ability to make your ideas into bold claims and put you on defense against readers instead of offense
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We begin class with the riddle “Is the snake consciously baiting the bird?” I believe so because the snake doesn’t really move when the bug is crawling over it and I feel like it can sense the bird is coming for the bug. The snake’s camouflage works so well that the bug crawls over the snake unfazed. (My mind is blown. I just found out the tail of the snake is shaped like a bug, and it works so well it fools humans too!)
Mirror Paradox: What you see in the mirror is different from what people see in person. The mirror flips the image left to right instead of top to bottom because it actually flips things front to back. If it actually did this, we wouldn’t be facing the mirror at all.
The water wars are becoming worse with people only being limited to certain amounts of water.
After this we go over our Stone Money papers, and we go over how to properly form a paragraph. We should focus on only developing one idea in each paragraph instead of multiple ideas.
Avoid using words such as it and this because your writing can become unclear with the details of the summary. You need specific details in order to explain what you are summarizing, and it helps the reader follow along with what you are summarizing. In the example we use in class we can see a clear difference between how this and it do not fully explain what the writer was trying to write, to replacing those words with actual details relevant to the writing.
When you ask rhetorical questions, you have to defend what you are asking, and you give up the offense in your claims. If you use the questions correctly you can stay on offense and do not need to further explain what you are asking.
We conclude by going our PTSD assignment that is due Thursday.
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Notes:
-I do believe the snake was baiting the bird. By moving the bug, the snake knew the bird was going to dive in to try to eat the bug. After coming back to the video, we found out that was the end of the snake’s tail which looks like a bug. I do believe the snake knows they are baiting to bird.
-Rather then completely flipping an imagine over the y-axis, mirrors reflect what is in front. For example, if I have a dot on my left shoulder, it is still going to be on the left side of my body in the mirror.
-Paragraphs are said tiny essays. They have ideas, thoughts, and centered around one main idea. Paragraphs should not be too long, so they can focus on one idea.
-Quotes may only need a sentence of additional material. However, quotes be used as a small part of a big explanation.
-Do not use it and this. Explain everything. Without explaining, your “purposeful summary” could just be purposeful.
-Control the subject or topic. Do not let them form their opinion when writing.
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Riddle
– I believe the snake is consciously baiting the bird. He most likely has seen this bird swoop down and grab a bug multiple times before. I also think the snake made an adaptive evolvement in order to blend in the environment. The evolutionary change that they made is that they changed their tail to look more like a bug.
Writing Mechanics
– Remember to keep one idea per paragraph to keep the writing structured.
– We might need to tweak our citation technique, if the quote already says everything then we don’t need to add much. Only add what is necessary to your citation.
– When writing purposeful summaries, we need to make sure our writing actually is a purposeful summary and not just “purposeful” or a “summary”.
Rhetorical Surrender
– We must be careful with rhetorical questions in our persuasive writing. We our the authors so we control the writing. We shouldn’t ruin the chance to make a bold and persuasive claim by asking the reader questions.
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-Revision is for remodeling as this is how someone can properly evaluate their piece. If someone only touches up their work then they cannot improve it because they have not accepted that their work is garbage and in need of a full change.
-Yes, the bird got baited as this was likely an adaptation over time by the snake in order to catch more prey. The snake is aware of the shape of its tail and its adaptation, so it uses this to attract its prey
-Mirrors do not flip images but rather show a reflection or an inverted version of what is put in front of it.
-The water wars concept is terrifying and it is an important issue for the future
-The Suspended Coffee policy should be adopted throughout the country and the world
-No limit to number of times you can ask for feedback or improve the grade. Be specific in what type of feedback is wanted
-Effort is crucial to grade improvement
-Paragraphs and sentences are essays as they draw conclusions and use evidence and logic
-Paragraphs need to address and develop one idea
-Paragraphs should be simplistic
-If the quote says everything needed then the explanation can be short as there must be a balance between quote and the analysis of it.
-Summaries must be specific and detailed
-Stay on the offensive when writing as you relinquish your ability to explain your point of view
-If your reader makes up their mind then you have to use your words trying to talk them out of their idea
-You have a lot to crawl back from once you give up the offensive
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For today’s riddle, the snake pretty much outsmarted the bird and managed to camouflage with the sand rocks and strike. I think it’s something they have learned/evolved into through the course of always being the prey and developing a trap to capture the bird by pretending to be a weaker prey, such as a bug or fly. Understand the value of long paragraphs and how they aren’t meant to be long, they have to be broken off into different segments that still hold the reader’s attention but still provide information. The glacier freeze reply summarizes the idea of how you should keep to a minimum amount of sentences in your paragraph. You do not want a paragraph to take up an entire page, you can split the paragraph into smaller yet comprehendible.
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The 3 quotes on the board today were; “Writing is revision.” – Tracy Kidder
“Revision is remodeling–not dusting the furniture.” – Dinty W. Moore
“This is a rewriting course.” – Davidbdale
All of these quotes scare me a little bit because I was never that good at revising my writing.
Riddle: I would say the snake evolved this adaptive development. Over time he knew that by staying in that camouflage area around bugs that birds like to eat, he would get an easy kill. The right answer was actually that the snake has evolved its snake tip to look like a bug. That is a very cool evaluation for that breed of snake, I never thought their tails could evolve like that.
When we meet Cindy Crawford face to face, her beauty mark is on her left side but we see it on the right side of her face. When she looks at herself in a photograph, she sees the same thing as us. However, when she looks at herself in the mirror, her image is flipped.
The answer is that a mirror doesn’t flip left to right, it flips front to back. I think that’s interesting because I never really thought about how mirrors don’t flip, it’s almost like we are seeing through the mirror. Even with writing, it’s not flipped.
To piggyback off of offering panhandlers a meal, France has a cafe where customers get coffee and ask for suspended (pay it forward coffees), they reserve the coffee for panhandlers or people who want coffee but can’t afford it.
Paragraphs are small essays, a paragraph should develop one idea. A super long paragraph might introduce multiple ideas or start to become very wordy and not precise. When you break up your ideas, you can see whether you need to develop your idea more or if it was sufficient enough. If you can combine paragraphs to condense it down, you can.
Glacierfreeze reply demonstrates feedback from the professor on tweaking your citations. If you use a quote that already explains everything, then your long explanation paragraph is pointless and can be summarized down to a sentence.
Wazoo’s purposeful summary was only really purposeful but honestly, we don’t understand what’s going on. It’s not a summary because it uses “it and this.” You need to elaborate on what “it or this” means.
Starting your essay with a rhetorical question means you give up the offense and start on the defense. You want to compel your reader to agree with your point of view, not let them make up their mind before they even read your essay. Revise without rhetorical questions.
New material to help with the PTSD assignment due on Thursday, it gives timestamps and gives claims to demonstrate how many claims you can make within a two-minute video.
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quote of the day: “This is a rewriting class”- question essays change more and more things around so that you aren’t just changing periods and grammar problems.
Riddle of the day: I think the Snake evolved to have that camouflage to hide from predators and prey alike. It looked like the snake was “holding” the bug on its tail to flaunt it to the bird however, it was just the tip of the snake’s tail and was never a bug. The snake evolved from the environment it is from and the other steps of evolution like natural selection and genetic drift. The snake couldn’t control how it evolved it just got the trait of having a tail looking like a bug.
Mirror paradox: Mirror flipped image left to right (obvious) – but it really doesn’t flip anything at all if it did it would flip it front to back. Mirrors trick our brains because we are used to seeing people face-to-face flipped not mirrored.
Water wars are getting worse- have to keep up with the amount of water people collect or else the right of the amount of water they can have will keep decreasing.
Feedback please- start adding specific details on what I want feedback on this will help me improve my grades.
Writing mechanics: paragraphs and sentences are essays-preferences, subjects, and examples, say stuff, draw conclusions. centered around one main this will help break down an essay and add what needs to be added and what isn’t necessary
managing citation technique if the quote says everything then you only need a little sentence of additional material (language is wasted)
Purposeful summaries: apple let people bug phones- The student wasn’t specific enough to understand the summary it was only purposeful. add specific details instead of “it” and “this”, by doing this the writing will not only be purposeful but will have a summary that makes sense.
Rhetorical surrender: Rhetoric questions take away the opportunity to go on the offensive. Compel readers to agree with your point of view. letting people draw their own conclusions doesn’t help any argument in fact it does the opposite.
Harvest organs: what is the right to harvest death row inmates’ organs. manipulated by a bad analogy claim.
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2/14/23
-“Writing is revision. Revision is remodeling, not dusting the furniture. This is a rewriting course.” When completing a revision, dig into the core issues with your writing, don’t settle for simple grammar or word-choice changes.
-In the southwest, a states annual water surplus is taken away by the government, incentivizing people to overuse water.
-French cafes allow customers to buy “suspended” items, to be given to local panhandlers who cannot afford them.
-When requesting feedback, leave a reply for what you would like to receive feedback on (this will also prioritize your feedback) Requesting feedback without giving a point of focus will
-When writing an essay, limit the paragraph to a single idea. It is easier to process paragraphs when they are broken down into a few sentences expressing one main idea, allowing you to check whether the idea needs to be improved or if its worth being included.
Purposeful Summary Notes:
-Avoid being too purposeful: make sure the reader understands what is actually going on, replace “it” and “this” with details of the actual story
-Rhetorical Surrender: rhetorical questions are the opposite of persuasive, they don’t allow the readers to assess your point of view, and effectively puts your essay into defense
-It’s your essay, control the conversation
-The word, “Let’s”, is a proposal claim, and therefore an argument. Every word in a. proposal is a claim individually
Homework:
-Purposeful Summary due Wednesday before midnight
-Follow along with todays new material videos
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Today’s class began, as it always does, with a quote. There were three this time, the focus on revision. The first quote asserts that writing IS revision.
For the riddle, my answer is no. Evolution is not a conscious process that a subject causes intentionally. The snake is not consciously trying to bait the bird, to the extent that it is even conscious.
The mirror paradox was discussed next, using the model Cindy Crawford. The question of how a mirror flips images was considered. Mirrors don’t flip images upside down, but the professor further argues that mirrors don’t actually flip left-to-right, but front-to-back.
The “water wars” in the US west was briefly revisited, highlighting the absurd nature of “use it or lose it” water rights, where states and cities use all their allocated water every year because they don’t want to lose their right to that water. This creates a backwards incentive structure where waste is encouraged.
The follow-up to the panhandler debate covered the French and Italian practice of “suspended” coffee, where patrons can purchase a coffee for a customer who cannot afford one. The patron’s purchase of a suspended coffee lets a customer who cannot afford one get a coffee at a later time.
The professor, in good faith, criticized the writing mechanics of the class. One of the most important elements discussed was paragraph length, where Professor Hodges cautioned against
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-Upon reflection of the video, it appears that the snake intentionally lured the bird by manipulating a bug with its tail, indicating an awareness of its actions.
-Mirrors reflect images in front of them, rather than flipping them over the y-axis. For instance, if there is a dot on one’s left shoulder, it will still appear on the left side of the body in the mirror.
-Paragraphs are akin to concise essays that express a central idea or thought. It is advisable to keep paragraphs brief to enable clear focus on a single topic.
-While quotes may only require a sentence of contextualization, they can serve as a crucial part of a broader explanation.
-Avoid using vague pronouns such as “it” and “this” without providing clear explanations, as this may result in a lack of clarity in the intended message.
-When writing, it is essential to maintain control over the subject or topic, guiding the reader to form an informed opinion based on the information provided.
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I don’t think evolution is a conscious process, but I do think the snake knew what he was doing by tricking the bird.
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Class Notes 2/14:
– Very interesting fact about Jack Karowak (probably messed that up) and how he typed his drafts on a type writer with a paper towel roll and never needed a second draft
– “Writing is revision” -Tracy Kidder. Writing a sloppy first draft may not be the worst thing because it means you have plenty of room to get yourself better in you r next draft.
-“Revision is remodeling- not dusting the furniture” – Dinty W. Moore. When we revise we need to actually dig into what needs to be fixed beneath the surface rather than just “dusting” the surface
-“This is a rewriting course”- davidbdale.
-Riddle: Is the snake consciously baiting the bird? Did the snake consciously evolve this amazing adaptive development? I think the snake is definitely consciously baiting the bird. It may have happened by accident at one point in time but it looked like this was a learned and practiced behavior.
-The mirror paradox: mirrors don’t actually flip things like cameras do, they just show us exactly what’s in front of them without any flipping. When someone looks at us, they don’t see us the way we see are selves in the mirror. This all really made sense when we were shown the Scarlet Johansson and Obama pictures
-Professor Hodges touched on the water crisis that we were talking about last week. It’s currently becoming a problem on the west coast.
-Suspended Coffee: Customers can pre-order or “suspend” a coffee for people who can’t afford their own coffee. When someone buys a coffee, they can buy a coffee in advance which is a great way to help someone in need by paying it forward.
-Housekeeping: We can request feedback on any of our posts by adding it to the Feedback Please Category and leaving a reply with what we’d like feedback on specifically; Grades: Grades can be improved but asking for feedback prior to being graded is more substantial and helpful.
-Writing Mechanics: Paragraph size- One main idea per paragraph, paragraphs should be able to be seen in one piece on the screen.
-The glacier freeze reply: What Professor Hodges did for this student was help them avoid wasting words and helped them get to the point after they present a quote.
-Beware of IT and THIS: make sure that if you use IT and THIS that you are defining what IT and THIS is because otherwise you’ll be presenting an argument with no context or background for your readers to understand what you’re talking about.
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Tracey Kidder says “Writing is revision.” She would be correct.
“Revision is remodeling-not dusting the furniture.” This is said by Dinty W. Moore. When you think your first draft is great it most likely is not, it needs remodeling.
“This is a writing course.” This is said by davidbdale. These quotes allow you to understand how writing is supposed to be.
Riddle: Snakes use the tip of their tale that looks like a bug to attract birds. The snake is in plain view and waiting for the bird to fly down and eat the “bug”. When the bird flies down to eat the bug, the snake swallows the bird whole. I think that the snake is consciously baitong the bird because it tricks the bird into thinking that they will eat a bug when in reality the bird will be the one getting eaten.
The mirror paradox: the same thing you see when you take a picture of yourself is what you see if someone looks at you. When you look at yourself in the mirror it’s the opposite reflection. Why do we flip things left to right and not up to down? They don’t, they don’t flip things at all, they give it right back to us the way we look at it. We don’t see ourselves the way other people see us because we don’t see it through the back of our head through the side of our face.
Water: Six states are now on a death lock over water. California needs the federal government to solve it for them because they won’t give up water. This is because of lal the drought in the western states. There is a terrible aspect of the regulations. California has water rights.
Treating panhandlers to a meal: If you go into a cafe in France and you have enough money to buy 6 coffees but you only need 3, you can go to the counter and say you want 3 and 3 suspended coffees. You paid for 6 coffees but didn’t dispense 3 other coffees. When a panhandler goes in, they ask for suspended coffee. The panhandler gets a free coffee because you contributed to the future needs of someone not able to afford the coffee.
Housekeeping: Ask for feedback! Categorize your work.
Your entire essay is an argument. Each sentence is an argument. One main idea.
Beware of It and This: Don’t use “this”- your reader is unfamiliar to what “this” is. Replace It and This with specific details.
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Revision is necessary to writing no matter what you do.
Yes, I believe that the snake is consciously baiting the bird, but I don’t think they were consciously evolving this way.
How we perceive everything is dependent on ourselves. No one can see how you see something.
Going over how we should be writing.
We can’t assume the reader knows everything, we have to explain it all in detail.
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– There should be massive improvement between the first draft and the latest draft
– Revision is remodeling
– The snake in the video was baiting the bird and was waiting to swallow it whole
– Is evolution deliberate?
– Drivers side/Passenger side is another way to say right and left
– Mirrors don’t actually flip anything
– California has water rights
– If they need water and they don’t have enough they can’t get any more
– We have to categorize our posts correctly or they cannot be found
– Readers often do not know the background so you should avoid using it or this or that without explaining in depth-first
– The last thing we did in class was go over rhetorical surrender
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When you revise your work, don’t just dust the furniture… remodel the whole room.
Question: Is the snake consciously bating the bird?
Because it is evolutionary, it in part is not conscious, however they do use it to their advantage by moving it back and forth the way a bug would move.
Mirrors flip objects left to right, but why don’t they flip objects top to bottom and make the object look upside down? BUT… they don’t flip objects at all. It send the image back exactly as people see us, they flip objects front to back.
However type flips, right? WRONG! However we read it as if we were look through us from behind. It does not flip at all.
A paragraph is an argument… 8 paragraphs = 8 arguments : make sure each paragraph is a different argument, and a complete argument.
1 paragraph = 1 main idea
Be on the lookout for transition words
– to begin
– for example
– similarly
– in contrast
– finally
And many more.
Try to stay away from using “this” and “it”… just because the writer knows, does not mean the reader knows what “it” or “this” is.
If you ask a question, you are inviting the wrong answer and may start arguing before even stating your point
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-writing is revision, additional drafts are a way to continuously improve your paper.
-Then went onto the video with the bird and the snake. I think that the snake Is meaning to bait out the bird because just like being camouflaged, they know about that, so I think they know their tail is like a bug which they can use to bait the bird.
-make sure to categorize every post that is made so it can be found
-Then, we went over paragraph length a little bit as we’re showed us how to break up a big paragraph.
-Then we went over this and it and a little bit about the readers point of view and how much you should always be very clear so you reader understands.
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“Writing is revision.” Written by Tracy Kidder. She is absolutely right. Revising is a major part of writing, for it makes drafts the best they can be. You can never publish your first draft. Keep revising and writing numerous drafts to improve your writing
skills in the class. “Revision is remodeling—not dusting the furniture.” Written by Dinty W. Moore. Rewriting is rearranging, per say. “This is a rewriting course.” Written by David Bale. Comp II is basically a revision process.
You first need to rearrange, then dust. That is how you boost your grade. For first drafts, Professor Hodges is going to be looking at essay structure, your utilization of citations, and big-picture stuff {what themes, points, etc. are you trying to get across?}. Then, it’s dusting {fixing grammar and punctuation errors}.
Riddle: A bird is attracted to a bug. A snake comes into the picture. When the bird flies down to try and eat the bug, the snake pounces on the bird and swallows them whole.
A Mirror Paradox 2023: Cindy Crawford is the first named supermodel. She took the stigma off beauty marks because she has a beauty mark on the left side of her lip. “Her driver’s side.” When she sees a picture of herself, she sees the same thing as us. When we put her in front of a mirror, however, her beauty mark is flipped from left to right. Why is it like that? Why don’t mirrors flip things from top to bottom? Answer: “a mirror doesn’t flip left to right. {They don’t flip things at all}. However, the illusion is that it flips objects front to back.”
No one sees each other the way we see ourselves.
Totally intuitive: People are able to pay for multiple suspended coffees for panhandlers who cannot afford coffees. This reassures those who are afraid to give money to panhandlers that they can.
Leave a reply on your posts if you want specific feedback on your work.
Be sure to categorize your work so that Professor Hodges can find your work on the blog and provide feedback.
A paragraph is an argument. Each sentence is an argument. Paragraphs should not be super long. They should be separated by certain points.
Points should be shorts and straight to the point. It should not be paragraphs long. You can shorten your points.
Beware of “it” and “this.” You do not want to confuse your audience. Be specific with who you are addressing in your writing.
Do not have fluff in your writing. Repeating the notes from earlier classes, you want to be straight to the point. Short and sweet.
PTSD Claims due tomorrow night at midnight.
Watch video on death row inmates for merely background information. It is not homework, but just watch it to help you with your PTSD Claims assignment.
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-Writing is revision
-Revision is remodeling-not dusting furniture
-This is a rewriting course
-Fix grammar and punctuation mistakes last
-The snake baited the bird in on accident, but being able to camouflage is evolvement
-Mirrors aren’t flipped left-to-right they are flipped back-to-front
-Leave a reply on a post so your professor knows what you want feedback on
-Paragraphs and sentences are an argument
-One idea per paragraph
-Be careful when it comes to paragraph size
-The reader never knows what you are writing about
-When writing don’t assume that the reader knows what you are talking about
-Be very detail oriented
-Use details to show the purpose
-It is common to write summaries that are not purposeful
-Don’t use “you” in essays
-“Let’s” is a claim
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Agenda:
– “Writing is revision.” – Tracy Kidder. You cannot just post your first draft and think you’re going to get a good grade on it.
– “Revision is remodeling — not dusting the furniture” – Dinty W. Moore
– “This is a rewriting course.” – davidbdale
– Your professor will not give you feedback on grammar right away he will look more at the overall and tell you what big things need to be fixed. After the first round of feedback, you might start getting grammar feedback.
– Riddle: I think the snake is consciously baiting the bird. I think this is its way of getting food. It probably did evolve to have that adaptive development because it would make it easier for that type of snake to get food. I was very surprised to find out that the “bug” was actually a part of the snake’s tail.
– A mirror doesn’t flip left-to-right. It flips front to back.
– In France you can buy extra coffee at a coffee shop and that coffee will become suspended coffee that panhandlers can come in and have.
– A paragraph is an argument. A sentence is an argument. A paragraph is how you develop one main idea. A paragraph should be no bigger than the size of the blog page. (When you view it on the blog you should be able to see it without it going too far off the top or the bottom)
– You need to be careful when using it and this. It can get lost as to what you are actually referring to. As the writer should not assume that everyone knows what you’re talking about. It is best to just assume they know nothing.
– By starting your writing with a bold sentence you start out ahead and make the first move however if you start with a question it puts you behind and gives the reader the first move.
–
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WRITING IS REVISION
You won’t get away with summiting first draft
WHAT IS REVISION
Remodeling
This is a rewriting course
VIDEO
Bird is attracted to bug (the snakes tail)
When the bird tries to eat this “bug” the snake swallows the bug whole
The question is..
Is the snake consciously baiting the bird?
Is evolution deliberate?
I believe it is, survival of the fittest
Model Cindy Crawford
Famous supermodel
Famous mole
When we see pictures of her, her mole is on her drivers side and when she sees pictures of herself she sees the same thing
When she looks in the mirror she see the opposite
WHY DO MIRRORS FLIP THING RIGHT TO LEFT INSTEAD OF TOP TO BOTTOM
they don’t, they don’t flip things at all
They give it back to use how we see it
if they do flip its front to back
it’s as if we were looking through ourselves
*if we were reading our own T-shirt we would read right to left instead just like a mirror
If you go into france and order 3 coffees and 3 suspended coffees
That way when a homeless person comes in they can ask if there are any suspended coffees
*the idea of money being spent wrong is eliminated in this
HOUSEKEEPING
Make sure to edit what kind of feedback you want
Writing mechanics
Each sentence is an argument
WRITING PARAGRAPHS
Know the proper size
Each paragraph should have ONE idea
“For instance” can be a separate paragraph.
Transition words are great for the START or a NEW paragraph
Paragraphs contain
Contrast
similarities
ASK YOURSELF
Is this sufficiently developed?
USING QUOTES
Quotes should NOT do all the work
Keep quotes short and paraphrase
BEWARE OF IT AND THIS
Knowing when to provide specific details
Too many “it” and “this”
Don’t assume that the reader knows what “this” is just because you, the writer, does.
RHETORICAL SURRENDER
Benefits in making a really bold persuasive statement if first sentence
Chess comparison
Stay on white as long as you can
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When you revise your work, don’t just dust the furniture… remodel the whole room.
Question: Is the snake consciously bating the bird?
Because it is evolutionary, it in part is not conscious, however they do use it to their advantage by moving it back and forth the way a bug would move.
Mirrors flip objects left to right, but why don’t they flip objects top to bottom and make the object look upside down? BUT… they don’t flip objects at all. It send the image back exactly as people see us, they flip objects front to back.
However type flips, right? WRONG! However we read it as if we were look through us from behind. It does not flip at all.
A paragraph is an argument… 8 paragraphs = 8 arguments : make sure each paragraph is a different argument, and a complete argument.
1 paragraph = 1 main idea
Be on the lookout for transition words
– to begin
– for example
– similarly
– in contrast
– finally
And many more.
Try to stay away from using “this” and “it”… just because the writer knows, does not mean the reader knows what “it” or “this” is.
If you ask a question, you are inviting the wrong answer and may start arguing before even stating your point
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“Writing is revision.” -Tracy Kidder
“Revision is remodeling—not dusting the furniture.” -Dinty W. Moore
“This is a rewriting course.” -davidbdale
To me, these quotes talk about how writing is never going to be perfect after the first draft. There is always room for revisions, improvements, and even more ideas that you possibly did not think of during the first draft. You’re truly never “finished” after the first draft of anything you write. This course requires multiple drafts. This is to help better our work.
**Riddle:**
– Q: Is the snake consciously baiting the bird?
– My response: I believe the snake is consciously baiting the bird. The snake knows how to get food and uses what it has (the bug-like tip on its tail) to get what it wants.
– Q: Did the snake consciously evolve this amazing adaptive development?
– My response: This might have been an unconsciously evolution in the snake.
**Mirror Paradox:**
Mirrors can “flip” things left-to-right. But why? Why don’t mirrors flip horizontally?
Mirrors don’t flip things left-to-right. They flip front-to-back.
Response to common misconception about mirrors: The common misconception about mirrors is that many people believe the mirror flips what is seen in our world. In actuality, mirrors flip front-to-back, rather than left-to-right. Mirrors show us what we actually see, versus what others see of us.
**Housekeeping:**
**“Feedback Please”**
Any post you want feedback, you must explain WHAT is is you want feedback on. You simply cannot ask for feedback without saying what kind of feedback and expect it.
*Remember to categorize your posts or they will be given a 0*
**Writing Mechanics**
A paragraph is an argument. Your entire essay is an argument compromised of smaller arguments.
There should be one main idea per paragraph. A paragraph is how you develop one main idea.
*Be aware of “it” and “this”*
When writers use “it” and “this” excessively in a paper, the reader is not going to understand what they are talking about. In this instance of the summary shown in class, it was confusing as we were confused what Wazoo was discussing in their purposeful summary. The only person who knew what the summary was about was the writer, Wazoo.
Summaries with SPECIFIC DETAILS will be much more effective in having the reader understand the article to the extent of its entirety.
*Rhetorical Surrender*
A common tactic writers use when writing is opening with a Rhetorical Question. To pique the interest of those reading…this is a terrible tactic to use. Don’t give the reader’s reign of your chessboard. It’s YOURS. You play the first move.
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Tuesday Feb 14-
– 3 quotes
– “Writing is revision” “Revision is remodeling-not dusting the furniture” and “This is a rewriting course”
– Moral of quotes: Do not settle for basic! Always look for revision and how to make your paper that much better
– Riddle: I believe the snake did lure the bird into the trap. If you look closely, there was actually no bug, but it was rather just the snake’s tail to make it look like food for the bird.
-Suspended Coffee: a coffee shop in France has a program that allows customers to come in and order coffee for themselves, and some “suspended coffees” which are not for them. However, they are for homeless people that come in and are not able to afford coffee. It is overall an amazing concept that should be used more.
-Writing mechanics: BE SPECIFIC and avoid generalizing the points you are trying to make
– Do not explain things that have already been explained.
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“Writing is revision”, “Revision is remodeling, not dusting the furniture”, and “This is a rewriting course”. The quotes give us an understanding of writing; it is part of writing to go back to a piece and alter it to make it better.
The riddle was about a snake and a bird followed by a video about adaptationism.
Mirror paradox: Looking at different picture references. The pictures detailed the effects of mirrors and why a plain flat mirror reverses an image from left to right but not from top to bottom. The confusion comes from the fact that the question is built on an incorrect assumption: that mirrors reverse images left to right. They don’t, so the question itself is nonsensical.
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44Elk 2/14/23 In-Class Notes:
Snake Riddle:
Yes. The snake is consciously baiting the bird. The snake needs to eat, and it is using the tools at its disposal to increase the likelihood that it’ll eat today. And no. Evolution is not conscious. The bug-tailed snake came to be due to a genetic mutation or a complex series of favorable adaptations. These mutations/adaptations caused multiple generations bug-tailed snakes to be more successful over its competition. In this cruel world, you use it or lose it. Snakes with that tail have that tail because it WORKS. Giraffes have long necks because the giraffes with long necks could reach the leaves on high trees and reach sexual maturity (and reproduce their long-necked genes), and the ones with short necks simply went extinct; unable to spread their unfavorable genes.
Mirrors:
Next, we discussed mirrors. We talked about how we misunderstand them, and how they really work.
Next, we did some housekeeping and replied to some feedback that professor Hodges gave about our assignments. We learned how big a paragraph should be, and we also learned to avoid using “it” and “this” as much as possible when writing.
Finally, we looked at “rhetorical surrender” and how to frame an argument so that we don’t alienate our audiences too early or without providing amble support for an argument.
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This class is all about revision and writing is a revision. Which you followup by remodeling. If you want your draft to have a vast improvement, then submit a bad first draft. Then categorize a specific feedback so that your revision is remodeled
The riddle ‘‘is the snake consciously baiting the bird?’’ Animals addapt to its environment over centuries so its normal for the snake to apper camouflage, but how the snake uses its tail, is definitely an adaptive development because it has learned what birds eats acts it out and waits to strike.
Theres a huge misunderstanding bout mirrors and its reflection. A mirror doesn’t flip your reflection from left to right just because words are backwards on a mirror. if u raise your right hand it still reflects on the right side, it’s a reflection from back to front.
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Today, we first discussed the meaning of revising your work. Professor differentiated this by comparing it to dusting something, there shouldn’t be little work done no matter how good the first draft is.
We then looked at a mirror paradox which had us believe that mirrors flip from left to right causing us to see ourselves differently then how others see us, but it really flips from front to back which is kind of interesting. It’s weird how our whole looks get flipped, some people may even rather see themselves flipped in pictures. I know me personally, I feel like my face looks off when a picture is taken using the back camera because it’s flipped and it’s not as I see it when I look in a mirror.
We discussed pass assignments we have done and Professor Hodges advised us to ask for feedback not just on assignments that haven’t been graded yet but also ones that have. I see it as an advantage to get extra advice and help to improve your grade. It doesn’t hurt to ask for feedback. I would usually break my head trying to figure out what I did wrong but instead I could just ask.
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Writing is revision. Our first draft is not perfect, so we should make improvements along our revision process so that our final draft can be better than our first draft. Revision is remodeling – not dusting the furniture. Do not copy edit. Make sure to use apostrophes the right way (common mistake among writing). First drafts are sloppy and not perfect, so make revisions, and ask for specific feedback to improve our work.
Is the snake consciously baiting the bird? In this clip, the snake waits for the bird to eat the “bug” which is actually the snake’s tail. When the bird goes to eat the “bug”, the snake eats the bird whole.
The Mirror Paradox – We see the mole on Cindy Crawford’s right side of her face, which is her left side, but when she looks in the mirror it is flipped. Or is it? Why do mirrors flip images left to right and not top to bottom? – Actually, mirrors do not flip images left to right, mirrors flip images front to back on the z-axis. Text does not flip either even though it might look like it. Mirrors are what we see from our own perspective, not what others see from their perspective.
Totally Intuitive – there is a cafe in France where you can pay for 6 coffees and walk out with only 3. Why is this? – This is because when a panhandler walks in the cafe, they can ask for a suspended coffee and are given the coffee since someone already paid for it. This is how we can pay it forward to the people in need. Also, this is how we know our money will be spent properly, and not misspent by a panhandler.
Ask for feedback and leave a reply to the post so that we can receive helpful and important feedback from the professor.
*Make sure to use the appropriate categories under each post to the blog so the professor sees all of our posts and can give us proper grades on them.
Paragraph size – a paragraph is an argument, a sentence is an argument, our essay is an argument. A paragraph is how you develop one main idea. There should be only one main idea per paragraph.
Introduce a main idea, then provide an example.
Paragraphs provide contrast, similarities, and examples.
Paragraphs should not be too big, they should be less than the blog page and should contain one main idea per paragraph.
Break the paragraphs up if they are too big and have multiple main ideas.
Beware of “it” and “this” – explain the context of your work and be specific, and replace the words “it” and “this”, and do not just jump to conclusions. The reader does not know what you are talking about if you say “this” and “it” a lot without any context. We know what “it” and “this” mean since we wrote the piece, but the readers will not know what we mean without any explanation.
A summary without purpose is awful.
Rhetorical Surrender – do not start off an essay with a rhetorical question since this will make the readers make up their own mind about what you will be discussing before you even get a chance to talk about your proposal. We should be the ones to make up their minds. For example, what is the point of asking someone something when you are just going to tell them the answer anyway?
“Let’s” is a proposal claim.
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Quotes of the day: Your paper can never be perfect, there is always room for improvements. Almost like picking away at an uncharted sculpture.
Riddle: It seems as if the snake waits for the bird to eat the bug, so that with perfect timing the snake can get a hold of the bird.
Mirror Paradox: the picture is not flipped left to right it is flipped front to back
Writing Mechanics: try to avoid “it” and “this”, you want equal balance when it comes to purposeful summaries. Your opinion should be added as well as key information.
Always ask for feedback so you can improve your paper
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Mirror Paradox: We tend to think that whenever we see ourselves through a mirror, we the opposite of ourselves when in fact we don’t. In photograph Cindy Crawford, mirror doesn’t flip left to right, it flip front to back, that goes for all mirrors.
Housekeeping: Categorize your post with “Feedback Please” however reply under your post with specific feedback you want on your assignment.
Writing Mechanics: Don’t use “it” and “that” because us the writers are assuming that the readers know what we are talking about and that is not true.
Rhetorical Surrender: When opening an essay, a common thing is to start it with a rhetorical question to engage with the audience. However all this does is give the reader power and momentum instead of you, the writer. We want to make up their mind with a straightforward claim or else we lose the control of our own argument.
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Riddle: The snake baited the bird because of its skin. Its skin blends in with the rocks and the bird goes in though lands on the rock, it turns out to be a snake.
Mirror: The mirror doesn’t flip your image from right to left but from front to back.
Post what you want the professor to fix in your summary.
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Feb 14 Comp Notes
Class began with three quotes “writing is revision”, “revision is remodeling, not dusting the furniture”, “this is a rewriting course”. These quotes give you an understanding of what writing is really about; it is a part of writing to go back and alter your paper for the better.
We then began a riddle about a snake and a bird which was followed up with a short video.
A mirror paradox was the next topic in class. We looked at different picture references. Many celebrities were used such as scarlet Johanson and Barack Obama. The pictures were going into detail on the truth behind mirrors, how it does not flip vertically and how it actually is displayed.
A common misconception with mirrors is that we believe something has changed within the mirror itself, but in reality, our perception of ourselves has altered.
We then ended class with writing mechanics, where paragraph size as well as key details were discussed. These are big parts of writing that can always be improved, having a clear understanding of how to execute these things will impact your writing tremendously.
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– over time snakes have adapted their tails to look like bugs in order to trick birds into coming near them.
– the mirror paradox- this part of the lesson was to show that the perceptions of people are all different when looking in a mirror if you raise your left hand technically the hand raised in the mirror is the right because they are facing one another but too the person looking in the mirror it looks like a direct reflection.
– Suspended coffee- a suspended coffee is a working activity where you can buy coffees ahead so that if someone comes in who can’t afford it they can get a free coffee (pretty much paying it forward)
– How to get feedback- when posting your assignments be sure you are putting it in your username category as well as putting it in the “feedback Please” category, furthermore you should comment under your post what kind of feedback you are looking for to help get better critiques
-Makeup work- you can makeup work at any time, there is always room to improve your grade and earn points
– Paragraphs should be 1 idea- if you are speaking about more then one idea in a paragraph it is either too long and can be split up or the ideas aren’t formulated enough to be a paragraph and need more work.
– Going over purposeful words- Every word you say has a purpose the difference in the way you organize your words can mean completely different things like saying Katie my dog could mean “Katie, my dog” saying Katie is your dog or “Katie, my dog…” could mean you telling someone named Katie about your dog.
– Make sure you are making claims and not giving up the offense- don’t give your reader the chance to be on the offense, stay ahead of them at all times
– Video on claims- watching this video within the first few seconds and just 5 words being said you can decipher multiple claims just through them.
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– “Writing is revision” which is why your first draft will not get an A. This is a rewriting course therefore you will have multiple drafts before your final draft. Writing is a process of rearranging and switching out furniture, not just dusting it.
– Professor won’t give feedback on spelling/grammar errors because he will prioritize critiquing the overall format, flow, and structure of your writing.
– Riddle: I believe that the snake is consciously baiting the bird, because this is an adaptation, which allows the snake to get food. First watching the clip I personally wasn’t expecting the “bug” to be apart of the snakes tail.
– A mirror doesn’t flip left-to-right, it flips front to back.
– In France you can buy extra coffee at a coffee shop and that coffee will become suspended coffee that panhandlers can come in and have.
– A paragraph is an argument. A sentence is an argument. A paragraph should briefly develop a main idea, and shouldn’t be longer than the blog page.
– Read an example that consisted of lengthy paragraphs that we broke down into smaller paragraphs by identifying subject change or transitioning words.
– Repetitively stating “it” and “this” can become confusing for the reader, and it’s difficult to identify what the writer is actually referring to. The writer can’t assume the audience knows what they mean, which is why it’s beneficial to assume that your audience doesn’t know anything at all.
– Begin your essay with a strong, bold sentence that makes your reader want to keep reading the next sentence. It can be compared to chess, as the writer you have the power to make the first move and put your readers on defense. By starting your essay with a question you are giving the reader the upper hand and allowing them to make the first move. When you start out your essay with a question you are inviting your reader to answer it, form their own opinions, and potentially disagree with you before your argument has even begun.
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First we looked at a video of a snake biting a bird after this bird had been lured to the snake’s area by a bug nearby. The bug is actually the end of the snake’s tail which only looks like a bug and lures birds to it. The snake has evolved to adapt this technique.
We also looked at the mirror paradox, and how we see our image flipped from what others see us. But mirrors don’t flip us left to right, but front to back, as if we turned around in front of a mirror and like we’re seeing ourselves inside out rather than flipped around. Mirrors can confuse us by the fact that something on our left will be on our right, but the same doesn’t happen when you are facing away from the mirror, as the thing on your left would be on the left in the mirror technically. The mirror shows us a vision of how we view ourselves, like our left would be our left in the mirror, but others would see it as the right.
We next looked at a new business decision at a French restaurant called “suspended coffees” where someone could pay for multiple coffees which could be put on hold and when a panhandler comes in, they can have a coffee since it has already been paid for, which is an interesting solution for giving to panhandlers.
We went over Feedback Please and how and why to put your posts in feedback please category so you can get meaningful feedback if you supply what you need. We looked at some of the Stone Money essays and the fact that some of the paragraphs can be way too long. Paragraphs are mini essays in a way and must be separated between different overall topics. We should have one main idea per paragraph.
We looked at an example of an essay where a summary didn’t add anything to the quote provided and it was too long, because all the main ideas were already said in the quote. So you should reduce your sentences that summarize the quote to about one sentence to sum it up. If the quote says everything, then it can be explained in a sentence. But if a quote contribute to your idea and is a starting point, then you can add more sentences and explanations to go off of the quote.
We looked at a summary that was more purposeful than a summary, as the short essay had a very strong opinion towards Apple spying on their users. But they did not supply specific details and information about the topic, and was using “IT” language and not “THIS” as in relation to the audience. We saw a fixed version of the essay which supplied specific details and was much more clear as to what they were arguing.
Rhetorical questions are also not a good thing to put in your essays as they kind of give up your opportunity to make a claim. The rhetorical question also gives people many different answers, and now you’re on defense of your question rather than being on offense where you make a claim and argue it exactly.
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