Visual Rewrite-lokiofasgard

“Buzzed Driving ‘Warning Signs'”


The first frames shows a the back, excluding his head and below the belt, of a man standing in a dark red sweater placing a glass on a table. At the same table across the red sweater man, standing there is a man with a grey collared shirt on and a bottle of some sort of drink in front of him. In the blurred background to the right of the man in the red is 3 people seated at a table. Two of them being women with drinks in their hands seeming to be carrying a conversation.

The next clip shows a torso up shot of the red sweater man turning around towards the camera. At the same time, the man in the grey collared shirt turns the opposite way and begins walking away. The red shirt man begins walking away from the table while lifting his keys up to “rib height”. Behind the red sweater man to the left we clearly see a bar and an a bartender. There are decorative lights strung along the frame of the top of the bar below a television. The red sweater man then stops while lifting his attention toward the ceiling in a confusing manor.


The camera cuts to a close up of the man’s shoulder up shot, showing the blurred frame lights in the background. Still looking upward, he says something. While speaking he lifts his keys up to shoulder level and then extends his arm outward motioning that way. He then looks a little bit to his right but still upward.


The next shot shows a the man chest up. We can see the bar, frame lights and television again. The red sweater man’s body is shifted to the his right this time along with his head, still looking upward. With his body facing his right, he shifts his head to his left slowly while lowering his eyebrows in confusion. his eyes the shift back to his right.


The camera cuts back to the close up, shoulder-up shot, with the blurred frame lights in the back. His eyes then shift back to his left with his head following behind. His eyes then focus on something upward and ahead of him. He squints, raises his eyebrows, then says something while shifting his head further to the left and forward with his eyes locked on the focus.


The camera cuts to a downward shot of a hand holding a phone with a dark blurred background. The hand has a red sleeve on the wrist so we can assume it is the red sweater man. the phone shows texts between the red sweater man and someone named “Derek”. The red sweater man has sent lots of emojis including impact, peace signs, car, and laughing emojis. Derek responded with, “Um ok but what are you doing?” Red sweater man types the emojis as follows with just his thumb; winking with tongue out face , crazed face, two winky smiley faces.


The camera cuts back to the shot of his torso up with the bar, frame lights and television in the background. He lowers his phone that is in his left hand while still holding his keys in his right hand at rib level. Looking straight ahead his eye widen and he opens his mouth.

The camera cuts shortly to the close up shot and he says something again.


The next short frame is red shirt man sitting with a man and a woman on his right and a man on his left. He has his right arm outstretched upward. Everyone is looking at the end of his outstretched hand. It is safe to assume the man is taking a selfie with these people.

The next short frame is the point of view of the outstretched hand. Showing the faces of the two people to his right and one to his left. the man to his right has his mouth open and is sticking out his tongue. the woman to his right is holding up a peace sign with her hand. The red sweater man has his eye squinted, tongue out, teeth showing, and holding up a peace sign with his hand. The man to his left is half smiling and holding up a peace sign with his hand. They are all looking at the camera.

The next short frame shows the red sweater man in a low stance holding his outstretched phone up and to his right. He has an awkward look on his face with a smile. Directly behind him is the bartender behind the bar squinting, smiling, and holding up his arms with two peace sign using his hands. Behind him there are two women on each side sitting at the bar smiling nicely at his outstretched hand with his phone in it.

The camera cuts again to a frame with the red sweater man holding the camera with his blurry hand blocking part of the picture. He is in the middle smiling. The man to his right is half smiling and the woman to his left is half smiling and confused.


The next shot is the red sweater man standing, looking down towards his keys still clutched in his right hand. The camera shows a, wide, waist up shot showing a table with drinks on it to his right. The background to his right shows the bar, bartender, two people at the bar, and the frame lights but not the television. The background to his right shows the glass he had initially place on the table to be empty, as well as two people at a table further back.

Looking at his key he regathers them while nodding his head and stuffing them into his right pocket.

A short frame shows a close up of only his pocket and his hands inerting his keys into the pocket.


Starting from the belt up wide shot the camera quickly pans to the right showing a blurred moving effect. The camera stops panning on a man sitting down in a blue shirt talking into a microphone in his left hand. The back show similar tables to the ones we’ve seen already so its safe to assume he is in the same place as red sweater man. Blue shirt guy continues to say something and quickly looks up to his right back towards red sweater man.

The camera cuts to a close up of the face of red sweater man looking to our left. He then quickly turns his head to out right and downward in the direction of blue shirt man.

The camera cuts to a chest up shot of the blue shirt man smiling and looking at redshirt man with the microphone still in his hand.

The camera is now showing a short frame of the red sweater man belly up with the bar, frame lights and grey collared shirt man in the background. The red sweater man uses a “common” gesture with his left hand signally the blue shirt man while he begins to walk toward the camera on the left side.


The next frame is a close up shot of a cars tail light. their is a car sticker next to the tai light.

Then text pops up at the top saying “BUZZED DRIVING IS DRUNK DRIVING”. And the ad Counsil logo is shown on the bottom left in additon to the NHTSA logo in the bottom right.

The car begins to drive away in a blur.

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1 Response to Visual Rewrite-lokiofasgard

  1. davidbdale says:

    Let’s start with what you do really well, Loki. Nobody could ask for a more detailed description of what we see in the first two seconds of the video. We know the colors of the clothing on the primary characters. We know which hand the men are using for their drinks and keys. We know how much of the characters’ bodies appear in the frame and what directions they’re walking.

    But with all of that detail, we don’t get a sense of “the scene.”

    I watched just the first two seconds of the video and what I would report as an overview would emphasize the bigger picture that all those details help bring to light.

    Keep in mind that we start JUDGING what we’re seeing from the first frame. We may be right or wrong about what we conclude, but we can’t be blamed for whatever we decide. The video dictates our reactions.

    I see:

    Two friends have been drinking together in a comfortably integrated neighborhood bar. We don’t know how long they’ve been there, but probably not terribly long since they’re positioned at a “stand-up” table, not a booth. We can see other patrons seated, so the implication is that these friends, one clean-shaven and ethnically very white, dressed in a red sweater (could it be the Christmas season? the lights strung over the bar might be a clue) the other dark-complexioned perhaps racially mixed, goateed and casually dressed in a wide-open-collared shirt, have just had a drink or two. The very first frames show lots of bottles and glasses in the shot. In the foreground, the red sweater man is setting down a not-quite-empty beer glass. Two women in the background are raising glasses as well. When the men separate from their table, the beer glass and a beer bottle are revealed. As the men part and go their separate ways, we see patrons seated at the bar and probably room for more to sit there, again indicating that the men could have settled in comfortably for several drinks but elected to stand for a couple quick ones instead.

    You see what I’m getting at? The details are useful, but they don’t tell the story. Your job is to ANALYZE the rhetorical significance of what we’re being shown. Is there significance to the obvious racial diversity of the customers at the bar? Could it be to universalize the message, making sure not to implicate any one race with its message? You decide, and whatever you decide, you explain what details of the visual presentation made you draw that conclusion.

    Did that help? You may receive additional feedback, but since this is a conversation, you’ll have to respond first and make significant revisions to your draft before asking for more. Thanks! 🙂


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