Visual Rewrite-G00dSoup

Four people leave a building that appears to be a house. The weather appears to be a seemingly decent day out. The people appear to be in light, almost summer-y clothing. They walk out of what appears to be a brick house with very nicely done hedges and a ladybug flag stuck behind the hedges. It seems like a safe neighborhood. Seeing people going outside of their house always tends to be a good sign. The people appear to be dress in light, almost late spring, summer-y clothing.

There are two colored adults who are walking out of the home with two children. The adults, a man and a woman, look around to be in their late forties, mid-fifties. Perhaps they could be the grandparents to these children and they were babysitting? Perhaps they are not related to these children whatsoever and these two are, in fact, babysitters. Upon further examination of this “couple” there does not appear to be a wedding band on their hands. They might be a couple but decides not to wear their wedding bands. Or, they are the siblings of the parent (the mother of father) of the children they are caring for. They could, in fact be siblings of the children’s father or mother who are also watching them for the day.

The children are very young. The little girl looks about five years old. She is seen with a smile on her face as she leaves the house with the babysitters/aunt and uncle. Wherever they are going, she must be excited. Maybe she gets to see her parents again after a long day of being babysat by her aunt and uncle. Based on Uncle Babysitter’s face, she must have tired him out. He appears to have a stroller, several stuffed toys, a bag, a thermos (Water? Coffee? Alcohol?), and a bagel. He seems frazzled and this little girl most likely made him this way.

Aunt Babysitter however seems more composed. She, too, is carrying bags. A blue bag that has a shark on it (must belong to one of the kids), a bag filled with toys, and a drink for herself and a Go-Go squeeze-like container (possibly for the child she is holding). The child Aunt Babysitter is holding look no more than a year old. Maybe he’s at least two years-old. Based on this, Aunt Babysitter and Uncle Babysitter probably took a child to watch for their shift. Aunt Babysitter watched over the young boy while Uncle Babysitter watched over the young girl. The girl being more hyper than the boy most likely explains the Aunt’s calmness as she leaves the house.

Going back to the children’s mother and father could just be the last stop these people are going. Based on how much they have, they could be going on a road trip. Maybe Aunt Babysitter and Uncle Babysitter haven’t been around in their niece and nephew’s life and want to make memories with them as soon as possible. They could also just be going to the park for the day. These two adults seem they care for these children, but based on how they are composed as the leave the house, maybe they do not have a lot (or any) experience in taking care of children. Seeing how the Uncle has all of the luggage in his hands (and possibly extra items not needed, but his niece probably insisted she needed them) shows he hasn’t watch over kids before.

That being said, the kids are well dressed, they appear to be happy, and it looks like they were well taken care of while spending time with their Aunt and Uncle. However, if they are only going on a brief trip, maybe the amount of objects is not needed and they possibly didn’t plan this trip in advance. Or, if they are bringing the children back to their parents house, they could have made multiple trips from the house to wherever they are going to drop these items off.

The daughter fiddles too much with the toys her father is holding. She appeared to be ahead of the family…she seems excited for whatever this family has planned. Uncle Babysitter his bagel in his mouth as the young girl is tugging on the toys hanging off the bag Uncle Babysitter is holding. This little girl is probably stronger than Uncle Babysitter thinks because the stuff he is carrying in his arms now starts to fall. This throws Aunt and Uncle into panic, as their belongings start falling to the ground. The confident, happy Aunt now appears to be in distress. As she attempts to help, but remembers the younger boy she is holding and immediately tries to balance herself. As Uncle tries to compose himself, more of the bags start to fall. Luckily, he catches them.

Once Aunt and Uncle compose themselves, smiles return to their faces as they stare at the little girl who is trying to get them to hurry up by tugging on the toy that is dangling from the bag. As she keeps tugging the bag, the Uncle’s smile starts to fade. He’s perhaps starting to get annoyed at the young girl for being so hyper.

Uncle Babysitter goes for a bite of his bagel Did he not have enough time to eat this in the house? Surely, Aunt Babysitter has herself in order by not carrying food out of the house. As he takes a bite of his bagel, another strap falls off his shoulder.
Aunt Babysitter appears tired of Uncle not having it together, so she starts to hurry up to wherever they are walking to, leaving Uncle behind. Aunt Babysitter’s expression changes, as she now looks like she realized she is late for something. Are they not going to the park? Maybe they had to bring the kids back to their parents sooner than later?

As they walk on the brick path, the items Uncle is holding are now finally falling to the ground. As Uncle is picking up the items, the little girl is smiling from ear to ear. Maybe she knows she caused Aunt and Uncle Babysitter to fall into chaos trying to get to their location and her brilliant plan worked. Maybe she finds Uncle Babysitter’s clumsiness absolutely hysterical and she still finds it funny seconds after it happened.

The four of them approach a dark gray SUV. The moment the young girl gets to the door, she let’s her stuffed animal and her bag drop to the ground. Aunt Babysitter goes to put her drink on the top of the SUV as Uncle Babysitter goes to clean up the belongings the young girl drops. The car doors automatically open to let the young girl and young boy in by Aunt and Uncle Babysitter.

Uncle Babysitter is now buckling in the young girl to her car seat. He now has a smile on his face buckling her in (so she won’t cause any more ruckus probably) and the young girl also has a smile on her face. She appears to have something in her hand that appears to look like a bagel. However, she is picking at it rather than biting it whole. Once we see the buckle being secured, this causes the young girl to shake what now appears to be a bowl filled with dry cereal right into Uncle Babysitter’s face. Now Uncle Babysitter has to clean up the dry cereal the young girl threw all over the SUV’s floors.

We then see Aunt Babysitter putting the young boy into his car seat. She appears to be talking to either him, or the young girl who made a mess of the cereal. Or she could be talking to Uncle Babysitter, telling him to calm down about the cereal. As we get a closer look of the young boy’s buckle being secured, we see a ring on Aunt Babysitter’s finger.

Are the Uncle and Aunt Babysitter NOT siblings? Maybe they are the grandparents of these young children and the husband decided not to wear his wedding band. The “wife” (in question) only has a ring on her finger, she doesn’t have a wedding band on either.
Maybe these two are the Aunt and Uncle of these children and Aunt Babysitter just got engaged.

The family is no longer on the screen. There is no a blue screen with a website, In addition to this website, there are four images. A car seat (for an infant), a booster seat for a toddler, a booster seat for an older child, and just a seat belt. (There are also seat belts with the previous car seats pictured)

Based on this visual, the message of car seats for children isn’t displayed effectively. All we saw were the children being buckled in their seats. How do we know on the ride to their destination the car seats are even appropriate for their size? If the car seat the little girl sat in is too small, she might either feel suffocated and uncomfortable the entire ride, or (because of her hyper-ness), she might burst out of the seat belt like the Hulk. We also don’t know how effective the young boy’s car seat is either. What if his is too big and he slides around in in while the Aunt and Uncle are driving? That wouldn’t be safe and if this visual’s message is to promote car seats and how safe they are for children, then they should promote the message more clear. The visual should have been AFTER the young girl and boy have entered their car seats on the way to their destination. I would like to see how each child is in their car seats and how comfortable (or uncomfortable) they are.

Video I used

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6 Responses to Visual Rewrite-G00dSoup

  1. g00dsoup says:

    I am unsure if I established the rhetoric within this assignment. I would like feedback on what I can do to make this better and if I really captured what I visually saw with my selected ad.


  2. davidbdale says:


    A family of four leaves their house. The two parents have a lot of stuff in their hands…many bags, a stroller (that appears to double as a “backpack”), snacks for their children, thermoses (could they contain coffee? Water?), stuffed animals. They could be going on a family outing together and it appears they’ll be traveling for a while.

    We assume they’re a family of four. If they were two men, we wouldn’t be so sure. If they were very different ages, we wouldn’t be so sure. You need to explain HOW we know they’re a family and WHY these actors were cast to fill these roles.

    We assume they’re leaving their own house, I guess, but they might have arrived at this house to visit relatives and found them not at home. Maybe they’re departing from someone else’s front steps.

    I’m intrigued by the slow motion that starts the show. Both Dad and Mom look skyward in sweeping gestures as if taking in the massive crowd assembled in the stands to watch them take the field. What the hell are they looking at? I’m not listening to the soundtrack, but I’d make the music triumphal!

    The children are relatively young. The little girl standing by her father looks five. She is seen with a smile on her face as her parents are walking out the house. The youngest child…he looks about a year old. Both parents look ready to tackle the long journey ahead. The mother flips her hair back as they walk to (supposedly) their car. She seems confident about something.

    That CONFIDENCE gets at what I’m suggesting. How about Dad? Does he have it altogether, too? Game-ready, is he?

    The father is talking to his daughter, who is fiddling around with the toys the father is holding. As he talks to his daughter, it appears he has something else in his hand. It looks like a bagel…did he not have enough time to eat? Maybe they thought they were late? While the mother looks very confident, the father doesn’t seem to have had time to pack things away properly.

    But in that first long tracking second, Dad looked like the masterful king of all he surveyed. 🙂 I sense a comic tone, and the setup for some clumsiness.

    If you watch enough “public service announcements” like these, you recognize a humane theme: you may not be perfect, but you’re more than good enough to . . . adopt a pet, foster a child, raise a teenager, talk to your kids, model good choices, etc.

    Every character, whatever their other purposes, is cast for their age, body type, race, gender, social status, and attractiveness. You’ve identified ages for the kids. Are the parents age-appropriate for kids these ages? You’ve indicated gender but not much else: race, fitness, dress, social class. What about their house? Does it put them in a class? Does it matter? [Answer: it always matters; those are the rules of the assignment.] What’s the weather like? Season? Time of day? Can you tell from what they’re carrying whether they’re headed to the beach? A camping trip? To the in-laws? The zoo? How’s their marriage?

    Fortunately, our brains help us jump to conclusions about all these questions and countless others. Filmmakers manipulate what they know will be our reactions. If the “ad” is successful, WHAT WE FEEL is what THEY WANT US TO FEEL.

    Our brains recognize people, objects, and settings in enough detail for us to tell our readers WHAT WE SEE. At the same time, our brains ALWAYS DRAW JUDGMENTS from what they see, based on context. Whatever our brains GUESS about WHY the filmmakers are using a visual is what we want to communicate in the Rhetoric portion of the assignment. So, what wild surmises do the visual suggest to you?


  3. davidbdale says:

    I watched the video. You have work to do.
    Tell me if these are good parents or not. Tell me what they get right and what they get wrong. Tell me if the kids are well cared-for. How do we know what we know?


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