Core Value 1. My work demonstrates that I used a variety of social and interactive practices that involve recursive stages of exploration, discovery, conceptualization, and development.
I met this value when researching and developing my argument. I had originally come up with a hypothesis that I then needed to research and learn more about. My first hypothesis was simply that exergaming would be beneficial in schools. As I researched and found out more information my argument changed, and I had to come up with a new hypothesis. My new and final hypothesis ended up being utilizing exergaming in American schools would help alleviate childhood obesity. Researching and exploring different points of view was important because not only did I need to have information and proof regarding my position, but I also needed to be able to rebuke the opposite opinion. This value was specifically shown in my white paper because as I researched, I added my sources to it and took notes as I read so that I would be able to develop my argument as well as my overall paper. Basically, it served as my workspace so I would be able to write down my discoveries and thoughts as well as help conceptualize what I wanted to write about so that the writing process would be smoother.
Core Value 2. My work demonstrates that I read critically, and that I placed texts into conversation with one another to create meaning by synthesizing ideas from various discourse communities.
This value was met as I went through each of the sources I wanted to use and read them over critically and took notes on how I could use them. As I went through my sources, they helped open my eyes to ideas that I had not previously considered regarding my topic. For example, I had been focusing on the physical benefits that exergaming can have on kids however many of my sources pointed out that exergaming can also have cognitive benefits for kids. This was valuable information that helped me add more to my topic and make my argument more interesting. I then had to figure out how I could incorporate each source into my pieces effectively and in a way that made sense. I had to sort through many different types of sources including one with differing opinions and learn about my topic inside and out. I think I was able to use texts to create synthesize in my research paper. This paper was very long and included many different sources including pieces that I wanted to rebuke. I had to incorporate all of these pieces and make sure that they supported my point while also making sure the whole paper flowed well.
Core Value 3. My work demonstrates that I rhetorically analyzed the purpose, audience, and contexts of my own writing and other texts and visual arguments.
I was able to meet this value while I was researching my argument. While researching I had to determine what articles would be most beneficial to me and determine what the purpose of their writing was. In addition, I also met this goal when working on my visual rhetoric assignment. This assignment required me to watch a thirty second ad and write out everything I saw so that somebody reading it would understand the commercial as if they had watched it. I also had to analyze why the director picked every detail to put in that ad because each detail had a reason for being in the video. While analyzing you also had to keep in mind who the ad was geared towards because that would help you analyze why certain things were used in that video and why they would be effective. My video was trying to tell people not to drive buzzed. I was able to determine that the director picked young men to be the center of this commercial and also made sure that they were doing things that any typical young man would be doing such as drinking at a bar or tailgating. These things told me that the commercial was meant to reach a young male audience, possibly those who have just become old enough to drink.
Core Value 4: My work demonstrates that I have met the expectations of academic writing by locating, evaluating, and incorporating illustrations and evidence to support my own ideas and interpretations.
I met this value in all of my arguments that I had to write. For each argument I had to find and evaluate sources that would work for my argument. Not every source that I found was helpful for my argument, so I really had to analyze and evaluate each piece that I looked at. I then had to find a way to incorporate them into my arguments to make it all flow well and to help the reader understand why that evidence was important and what it meant. I think I showed this value well in my rebuttal rewrite because I felt that I found some really good sources that helped me rebuke the opposing side of my argument. My opponent said that exergaming did not have enough proof that it had any health benefits. I was easily able to rebuke this by drawing in all of the evidence from studies that specifically looked at the health benefits of exergaming. The evidence that I found put doubt on the opposing sides argument and really helped prove that my argument was right.
Core Value 5. My work demonstrates that I respect my ethical responsibility to represent complex ideas fairly and to the sources of my information with appropriate citation.
I met this value in almost every piece that I did. Since I did a lot of research in this class and incorporated a lot of it into my own writing pieces it was important for me to properly cite each and every one of my sources. I learned how to cite sources within the essay as well as within a reference section at the end of each piece. In addition, I learned how to respect all forms of opinions that could come from my topic. One way that I did this was by including an opposing position and explaining why they thought their opinion was right before I proved by my opinion had more evidence backing it. This value was shown mostly in my annotated bibliography. In this piece I wrote about each and every one of my sources and talked about the background of the piece as well as how I used it in my own pieces. I also had to put my citations in this piece as well.
What would make this work really sing are details about your essays.
1. I have no idea what either of your hypotheses were from this description.
2. Not one idea what your sources provided you.
3. Great opportunity to provide an example of a rhetorical device you found and analyzed.
4. What evidence did you find to refute the contrary thesis?
5. Yes, citations, but did you have to struggle at all to fairly characterize the opinions of, for example, your rebuttal source?
Thank you so much for the feedback professor! I will revise it
I hope I was able to properly revise this, and I would like a regrade please!
You’re welcome, Sunflower.
Here’s an example of a “Specific Details” illustration I offered to your classmate.
Thank you professor!
I’m happy to help because you earn every bit of advice I can offer.