White Paper – cfalover

Posted on September 9, 2021 by cfalover

People in the world today are not trustful enough of vaccines to eliminate polio. Back in the day, according to NPR: Shots, people truly believed in the science behind these vaccines. They were terrified of how many people it was affecting, and even paralyzed them. In the 1940s, polio was paralyzing over 35,000 people a year. People all went to get vaccinated to feel safe. The campaign, according to NPR, that was put together to try to stop polio made the people of this era feel more secure, since the vaccine was working and knew it was tested and safe. Then, though, the wrong ingredient was put into the vaccine that contained the active virus. This drew people away from the vaccine, in horror. In today’s world, now that people know more about how vaccines work and what approval and testing needs to be done in order to be safe and effective, people don’t want to be vaccinated as much. Also, polio is not as common today, so many think the vaccine isn’t necessary. After seeing what went down with the COVID-19 vaccines, more people are rejecting vaccines overall, because they don’t know if it was thoroughly tested or not. All of these incidents have caused people to maintain a fear against certain vaccines.

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1 Response to White Paper – cfalover

  1. davidbdale says:
    September 12, 2021 at 2:34 pm

    People in the world today are not trustful enough of vaccines to eliminate polio.
    —Bold, clear, and straightforward; this is a fine opening sentence, CFALover.

    Back in the day, according to “NPR: Shots,” people truly believed in the science behind these vaccines.
    —I assume you’re citing an NPR broadcast titled “Shots,” here, CFA. Your timeline is too casual for academic work (“in the world today” and “back in the day”). You’re going to use actual dates in a couple of sentences, so don’t resort to slang.

    They were terrified of how many people it was affecting, and even paralyzed them.
    —Your pronoun “it” does not have a clear antecedent. You seem to be saying people thought science would affect them, or paralyze them.

    In the 1940s, polio was paralyzing over 35,000 people a year.
    —OK

    People all went to get vaccinated to feel safe.
    —OK

    The campaign, according to NPR, that was put together to try to stop polio made the people of this era feel more secure, since the vaccine was working and knew it was tested and safe.
    —I don’t understand the sequence in which you reveal the details here, CFA. I think what you mean is:

    People don’t trust vaccines, but that was not always the case. In the 1940s, when polio was paralyzing 35,000 people a year, we trusted the new science of vaccines to keep up safe from a terrifying disease.

    Then, though, the wrong ingredient was put into the vaccine that contained the active virus. This drew people away from the vaccine, in horror.
    —I don’t know this story. The vagueness keeps your claim from being persuasive.

    In today’s world, now that people know more about how vaccines work and what approval and testing needs to be done in order to be safe and effective, people don’t want to be vaccinated as much.
    —Is this a general impression? Do “people” think not enough testing is done? Or are you identifying the specific case of a vaccine that until recently still only had an “emergency” approval?

    Also, polio is not as common today, so many think the vaccine isn’t necessary.

    After seeing what went down with the COVID-19 vaccines, more people are rejecting vaccines overall, because they don’t know if it was thoroughly tested or not.
    —This may be an answer to my question above, but the “seeing what went down” claim is too weak to be persuasive.

    All of these incidents have caused people to maintain a fear against certain vaccines.

    —It’s a fair draft, CFA, but you’re more than welcome to revise it before it’s graded. If you do, please let me know with a Reply to this post.

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