Definition Rewrite-rowanstudent6

Posted on March 4, 2023 by rowanstudent6

A Surfer’s State of Mind

Seagulls are squawking for food, the ocean smells like a salty tuna sandwich from two weeks ago, and the hoards of people flocking to the beach make the search for a parking spot feel impossible. These are all indicators of a harsh truth: you are at a beach in New Jersey. While New Jersey is rarely a sought after surf destination, it should be. It is the home of the best surf break in the world; the Jersey Shore.

Since I began surfing in 2016, I have been searching for the best wave and while many professional surfers look to the North Shore of Oahu, Southern California, or Western Australia for the world’s best wave, I plan to set my sights on the garbage and needle-ridden shores of New Jersey. I believe that the Northeast of the United States does not receive the attention it deserves as it provides a unique set of difficulties that provide the surfer with an opportunity to grow and overcome the obstacles that they face. New Jersey is the best surf destination in the world due the ever-changing breaks, summer crowds, and the challenges of seasonal surfing which provide the surfer an overwhelming sense of satisfaction when they overcome these obstacles.

While the “best” wave is often subjective based on the preferences of the critic, I am going to clear the water. The best wave is the wave that pushes the surfer to their limits, mentally and physically. The best wave allows for the surfer to improve their technique through overcoming adversity whether that be avoiding other surfers on a crowded day or by paddling into double over-head conditions.

New Jersey provides the conditions for a surfer’s growth due to the adversity that is present in the water and on the beaches. Many look to the Banzai Pipeline on the North Shore of Oahu as the best wave in the world due to its difficulty. However, I disagree because the Banzai Pipeline is too easy. The waves may exceed twenty feet and break onto a solid reef while also creating some of the hollowest barrels on the planet, but it does not provide the challenges that the Jersey Shore produces.

The first obstacle of New Jersey surf is dredging. Each winter, the breaks change which means that a surfer must relearn his home break each summer. That means that the ideal paddle out spot, the perfect place to sit in the lineup, and the place to smash an end-section turn have all changed between seasons leaving the surfer clueless during his first session of the summer. A recent study was conducted by DanaRose Brown and the US Army Corps of Engineering which examined how dredging and beach nourishment affected surfability in the area. DanaRose Brown states, “Short-term results indicate that surfability was reduced within the nourishment area for at least one month post-nourishment with smaller surf zone widths and less sandbars than before the nourishment.” While many think of this as reason to avoid the Jersey Shore, many locals see this as an opportunity to thrive. Surfing requires the mind to remain fluid and adaptable as situations in the water can change on a dime. A surfer in New Jersey will already be in this headspace as they must be prepared to adapt to a new break each season. The mastery a new break each season gives the New Jersey surfer a sense of well-deserved accomplishment.

Another challenge of New Jersey surf is the crowds. Summer surfing in New Jersey draws crowd from all around the Northeast which leads to packed lineups. Surfline, the world’s leading surf forecast site, stated, “New Jersey spots can be very crowded — just try to get a set wave at Manasquan Inlet or off the jetty at Broadway Beach in Cape May during the peak of a hurricane swell.” As someone who frequently surfs Manasquan during the summer I can attest that not even a hurricane is needed for lineups to become cramped. On a sunny day in August, the lineup can attract upwards of twenty people even if conditions are mild or subpar. The crowds add another layer of difficulty because you have be aware of the hierarchy in the water as well as aware of those paddling out while you are on a wave. A priority mistake can lead to a physical confrontation in the water and on the beach while a collision with a fellow surfer while on the wave can lead to physical injury and damage of equipment. This added challenge creates a necessity for surfers to be clear minded and ready for any obstacle that is put before them. However, this contributes the courage and triumph of the New Jersey surfer. Despite the risk of physical injury and destruction of an expensive surfboard, surfers will paddle out nonetheless in hopes of succeeding in these hazardous conditions. The reward for navigating these treacherous lineups is a clean face (of the wave that is) and a fun ride.

While surfing in the summer may have its challenges, the oncoming winter provides challenges of its own. The beaches and lineups clear up while the waves improve, but the water temperature becomes bone chilling as winter sets in. According to Surfline’s guide to Jersey Shore surf, “water temperatures can reach as high as seventy-five degrees in the summer, but can drop to low thirties in the peak of winter.” This requires the purchase of wetsuits which help prolong time spent in the water, but regardless the cold pierces through the five millimeters of protection. The cold creates a mental battle as surfers struggle to stay warm and loose in the water as larger sets roll through. However, it is this battle with mother nature that makes New Jersey surf so special as it creates a sense of triumph after the session is over.

Surfing is hard. It requires mental and physical perseverance in order to improve which is why New Jersey is the best surf location. The best surf allow for a new set of obstacles each time a surfer enters the water which will provide them an opportunity to overcome adversity and improve. Whether it be changing breaks, crowds, or the cold; New Jersey surf provides obstacles that only allow for physically stronger surfers, but mentally as well.

References

“An Evaluation of the Short Term Impacts of Beach Nourishment on Surfability in Long Branch, New Jersey” Stevens Institute of Technology. 2020. 4 March 2023.

“New Jersey Travel and Surf Guide” Surfline. 2023. 4 March 2023

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8 Responses to Definition Rewrite-rowanstudent6

  1. rowanstudent6 says:
    March 4, 2023 at 3:51 pm

    I would like feedback because I am unsure how well my post fits into the argumentative claim. I tried to create my own definition of best and show examples of how surfing in New Jersey met that definition, but I worry that my paper went more into causal than into definition as a result of these examples.

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    • davidbdale says:
      March 4, 2023 at 4:48 pm

      I’ll be back soon, RS6.
      I’ve indicated your post needs a Title.
      I centered the word References above your sources.
      I removed your rowanstudent6 tag and put your post in the rowanstudent6 Category instead.

      Please copy and paste the contents of this post into a second post with the same material but called Definition—RowanStudent6. You’ve correctly asked for Feedback on the Rewrite post (all revisions and feedback will be conducted here), but we need the unedited post in the archive for comparison in your Portfolio.

      Thanks!

      I appreciate the chance to provide Feedback before the deadline, both for your sake and the benefit of your classmates who might want an early indication of how well your draft meets the requirements. I’m very grateful to you.

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  2. davidbdale says:
    March 5, 2023 at 8:39 am

    Clever Title. “State” is good clean pun.

    Before I make specific observations, let me say in general that Definition/Causal/Expository/Comparative/Etc overlap, and it’s OK. If you need causal notes to make Categorical claims, that probably means that causation is among the categories that describe your terms.

    Seagulls are squawking for food, the ocean smells like a salty tuna sandwich from two weeks ago, and the hoards of people flocking to the beach make the search for a parking spot feel impossible. These are all indicators of a harsh truth: you are at a beach in New Jersey. While New Jersey is rarely a sought after surf destination, it should be. Not only does it have a rich history, but it also represents surfing in a way that no other destination truly does.
    —A strong first draft, RS6.
    —It sets up a nice counterintuitive claim: Despite its drawbacks, Jersey surf could be among the best.
    —Its “rich history” doesn’t sound like a premium feature, though, and “in a way that no other destination does” is too vague to sound promising.

    Since I began surfing in 2016, I have been searching for the best wave and while many professional surfers look to Hawaii, California, or Western Australia for the world’s best wave, I plan to set my sights on the garbage and needle-ridden shores of New Jersey. I believe that the Northeast of the United States does not receive the attention it deserves as there is a unique surf culture that many in the area resonate with. New Jersey is the best surf destination in the world due the ever-changing breaks, summer crowds, and the challenges of seasonal surfing.
    —Your definition category is shifting, RS6.
    —Your first paragraph promises rich history and, I guess, unique conditions.
    —This one says you’re in search of the “best wave.”
    —Then “unique culture.”
    —Then what appear to be your actual qualifications: changing breaks, crowds, and seasonal challenges.
    —Be clearer whether you’re defining the best wave/best surf/best beach or the “best overall surfing experience.” It might not be the wave that matters most.

    While the “best” wave is often subjective based on the preferences of the critic, I am going to clear the water. The best wave is the wave that pushes the surfer to their limits, mentally and physically. The best wave allows for the surfer to improve their technique through overcoming adversity whether that be avoiding other surfers on a crowded day or by paddling into double over-head conditions.
    —I would suggest that no one wave could provide all that.
    —A day of surfing might, though.
    —But even a long day of fine waves can’t provide seasonal variations: only a season’s worth of waves can do that.

    New Jersey provides the conditions for a surfer’s growth to the adversity that is present in the water and on our beaches. Many look to the Banzai Pipeline on the North Shore of Oahu as the best wave in the world due to its difficulty. The waves can reach up to twenty feet as they break over a solid reef, but can also produce some of the cleanest barrels in the world. However, it does not produce the same difficulty that New Jersey surf produces.
    —If you’re going to disparage the Banzai Pipeline, don’t be bashful. “it does not produce” is weak. “It’s too easy to be the best” takes nerve to say.

    Each winter, dredging occurs offshore in New Jersey which creates a vastly different surf break every summer. A recent study was conducted by DanaRose Brown and the US Army Corps of Engineering which examined how dredging and beach nourishment affected surfability in the area. DanaRose Brown states, “Short-term results indicate that surfability was reduced within the nourishment area for at least one month post-nourishment with smaller surf zone widths and less sandbars than before the nourishment.” This research explains that after nourishment, which occurs annually, the surf breaks change as sandbars disappear and the surf zones become smaller. This adds another layer of difficulty to New Jersey surfing as not only is each wave surfed different, but surf breaks themselves are different from the year prior. This creates a need to surfers to adapt each year to the changing conditions which help them become better. Surfing is all about reaction to nature and changing with the circumstances around you. As the wave changes so does the surfer which is why a annually changing surf breaks creates better surfers as it allows them to stay in this fluid mindset.
    —You probably had this section in mind when you worried about including causal arguments. And it’s true that you have.
    —But you might be missing the obvious alternative.
    —Spend more time on the “Variability Challenge” to the surfers, less time on HOW the variability occurs. THAT you can save for the Causal Argument.

    Another challenge of New Jersey surf is the crowds. New Jersey is in between three major US cities; Philadelphia, Washington DC, and New York City which draws hoards of tourists to the area. On top of the locations adjacent to these major metropolitan hubs, is the fact that New Jersey is a beautiful summer destination for many in the Northeast. This results in beaches and lineups becoming cramped and overcrowded during the summer. Hurricanes also draw huge crowds of surfers as they produce the best surf during the summer. Surfline, the world’s leading surf forecast site, stated, “New Jersey spots can be very crowded — just try to get a set wave at Manasquan Inlet or off the jetty at Broadway Beach in Cape May during the peak of a hurricane swell” (Surfline). As someone who frequently surfs Manasquan during the summer I can attest that not even a hurricane is needed for lineups to become cramped. On a sunny day in August, the lineup of attract upwards of twenty people even if conditions are mild or subpar. The crowds add another layer of difficulty because you have be aware of the hierarchy in the water as well as aware of those paddling out while you are on a wave. This added challenge creates a necessity for surfers to be clear minded and ready for any obstacle that is put before them.
    —Again, how the crowds form is less Definitional than what challenge the crowds provide to the surfer. What term can you coin to describe the navigational challenge of getting to your spot and weaving through the other surfers?

    While surfing in the summer may have its challenges, the oncoming winter provides challenges of its own. The beaches and lineups clear up while the waves improve, but the water temperature becomes bone chilling as winter sets in. Water temperatures can reach as high as seventy-five degrees in the summer, but can drop to low thirties in the peak of winter (Surfline). This requires the purchase of wetsuits which help prolong time spent in the water, but regardless the cold pierces through the five millimeters of protection. The cold creates a mental battle as surfers struggle to stay warm and loose in the water as larger sets roll through.
    —You know what else would help? Some indication that the “best surfing experience” is the one that involves overcoming challenges. That fundamental premise underlies all of your smaller claims, doesn’t it?
    —Nowhere in these 1000 words do you celebrate the special triumph of besting every wicked condition the Jersey Shore can throw at you.
    —Battles don’t serve your argument here; but, winning does.

    Surfing is hard. It requires mental and physical perseverance in order to improve which is why New Jersey is the best surf location. The best surf allow for a new set of obstacles each time a surfer enters the water which will provide them an opportunity to overcome adversity and improve. Whether it be changing breaks, crowds, or the cold; New Jersey surf provides obstacles that only allow for physically stronger surfers, but mentally as well..
    —Guess I saw that coming!
    —NOW: inject a little bit of that “what makes it best is the overcoming” into each of your paragraphs.
    —Details help. “That break that would have started just past the jetty last season has moved this year—this SPRING, at least—20 yards closer to shore.”
    —”Surf dilettantes at the Banzai can carve a clean line to the beach, but Jersey Surf Guerillas get to wind our way through a crowd.”

    Helpful?
    Thanks again for giving me a chance to respond before the deadline, RS6, and, as always, Reply, please. I love the conversations, but I tire of them when they become one-sided. So far, I think I can count on you to come back with more.

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    • rowanstudent6 says:
      April 2, 2023 at 1:34 pm

      I’m sorry that I am replying so late to these comments, but since returning from Europe I have been somewhat swamped with work and I haven’t found time to revisit my works. Hopefully that break allows me to return with a fresh perspective. I can understand much of your gripes with my opening paragraph as I am a bit vague on what I trying to discuss from the rich history to the unique culture to the actual wave itself. I did this in hopes of setting the scene of New Jersey surf in general as I hoped to paint a picture in the mind of the reader of what the Jersey shore is as many people from around the country that I’ve met think of New Jersey as the armpit of the nation and I try to show why that is not the case. While this does not add to my argument this is just the rationale behind adding it. As for the “best wave” I can see now that I need to be more specific with my language as by best wave I mean best surf break, but I assumed that everyone knows best wave meant best break. It terms of my comparisons to the Banzai Pipeline, I think that “too easy to be best” is a remarkable claim because in the ways in which I describe New Jersey surf later, it is believable. It also is something that not a single other person on the planet would say because pipeline is dangerous and deadly. As for my evidence, you are saying to focus more on the challenge that is present as opposed to how that challenge formed correct?

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      • davidbdale says:
        April 3, 2023 at 8:55 am

        As for the challenge, yes, here is the place to describe what the challenge IS whereas your Causal argument can present how it comes to be and how it affects the ride.

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  3. davidbdale says:
    April 30, 2023 at 12:51 pm

    Dude. Your APR 24 revisions made ALLLLLLL the difference.
    Graded SUN APR 30

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