5 Responses to Rebuttal Argument- haveanelephantasticday

1. haveanelephantasticday says:

   November 9, 2015 at 5:11 pm

   feedback was requested.

   Feedback provided.
   —DSH

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2. haveanelephantasticday says:

   November 19, 2015 at 1:06 pm

   @davidbdale I understand it’s past midnight of the 18th but I had previously requested feedback that went unanswered. If you’d be able to provide some now it would be appreciated.

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   • davidbdale says:

     November 19, 2015 at 1:27 pm

     Altogether true and completely my fault, haveanelephantasticday. If you can complete your rewrite by tomorrow’s class, I’ll be more than satisfied, and if you can’t because you’ve been waiting for my feedback, I’ll accept responsibility for your lateness.

     You’ve been an exceptional student, haveanelephantasticday, and a joy to assist, whoever you are. If I’ve failed you in any way, I apologize; and if I’ve encouraged or motivated, instructed or guided you, I’m gratified and validated by your success. Now, let’s get to the part where I shred your flimsy document. 🙂

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3. davidbdale says:

   November 19, 2015 at 2:31 pm

   P1. Great start. Let’s get nitty and gritty. You’re right to back off from “it’ in order to clarify the range of “its.” But then you get timid. Attention certainly. But between that and forceful uninvited penetration from a stranger. we have the “accidental” brush-by, the date-rape, and the groping in the subway. This is your topic, haed, and I won’t dictate how you should approach it, but your indignation toward rape will be better served if you can speak bluntly.

   For example, you could save genderlessness for later, when you use it to make the point that not only men but also other women think the rape victim was “asking for it.” In the meantime, in first paragraphs, you don’t need to be so democratic. You can say outright that it’s “men,” not “they,” not “people,” who feed off of their impression that women want it (then correct that overgeneralization later, with apologies).

   One last thing, you have a number disagreement toward the end: the plural women fall victim doesn’t agree with the singular she.

   P2. This is a little confusing and I do want to be clear because I’m a man who needs help here. You’ve warned us in P1 that women don’t necessarily want attention. Your first sentence in P2 sends an ambiguous signal. “Whether a woman is dressed scantly or not” seems to indicate that scantily-dressed women do definitively want attention while those who dress modestly send no such signal. so help a guy out here. Do you mean this or not? Is it possible that scantily-dressed women seek no attention?

   So as not to confuse the issue, you might be more direct: “However, in the society we live in today, even modestly-dressed women receive all sorts of unwanted and unrequested attention.” I hope the strategic difference is clear.

   For what it’s worth, a Facebook friend just posted this: Most interesting cat-call ever today from two construction workers in center city.

   “Hey Baby. Look at you. You look like a congresswoman.” I see this as an evolution of the cat-call. Like, “hey baby, not only do I find you attractive, but I can tell that you are intelligent as well.” Thanks guys. I appreciate it.

   A skeptical reader will dispute the “sexual gesture” nature of 100 “cat calls.” We are admittedly weak and undeniably canine, but telling a woman, even a stranger, invited or not that she is stunning or makes our day better is not necessarily sexual. Just saying. Received as such or not, it can be simply spontaneously generous. Condescending maybe, like “Aren’t you a beautiful baby?,” but nonetheless not aggressive.

   P3. I have to question this conclusion, elephantastic. It can be true, but needn’t be, that men “assume she craves attention.” Men follow women out of genuine pursuit, or for sport. As a game, a pastime. They don’t particularly care what the woman’s attitude is. “Clearly uninterested” has been used to seduce men so often that men ignore don’t trust it. They may have opinions ranging from “you know you want it” to “I will prove my devotion to you,” or anywhere else on the spectrum. The constant is men’s inevitable attraction, whatever the obstacles, despite the odds, to pursue desirable women both available and unavailable. A woman’s “apparent” availability is a factor, but certainly not as big a factor as her desirability.

   Useful?
   Reply, please.

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   • haveanelephantasticday says:

     November 25, 2015 at 9:46 am

     useful indeed, thank you.

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