definition rewrite- chickennugget444

The Mental Health Remedy 

The Mental Health Remedy 

In today’s world, mental health struggles are becoming more apparent. When dealing with the stresses of daily life, anxiety is a common emotion to experience. When faced with a problem, feelings of stress or worry are expected. While these feelings are a normal part of life, anxiety disorders are much more extreme and can have a huge impact on someone’s life.  According to the National Institute of Mental Health, a generalized anxiety disorder causes irritability, muscle tension, fatigue, restlessness, difficulty concentrating, and difficulty controlling feelings of worry. Anxiety disorders also cause unwanted thoughts, negative thinking, and stress. These symptoms can be extremely difficult to manage and according to Arlin Cuncic, 6.8 million Americans struggle with these symptoms of chronic anxiety daily. Anxiety can cause significant issues in areas of life having to do with school, work, and even social interactions. Research from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America reveals that  “Untreated children with anxiety disorders are at higher risk to perform poorly in school, miss out on important social experiences, and engage in substance abuse.”

There are ways to alleviate some of the symptoms of anxiety such as taking medication. However, meditation has proven to be just as helpful.  According to Susan Chow, “Meditation is an ancient practice that is believed to have originated in India several thousand years ago. Throughout early history, the practice was adopted by neighboring countries quickly and formed a part of many religions throughout the world”. Meditation teachings made their way into Western Cultures during the 18th century. Since then, it has become more popular and is now recognized as a great technique for managing one’s well being and mental health. According to Holly Berton, there are many different types of meditation including mindfulness meditation, spiritual meditation, focused meditation, mantra meditation, visualization meditation, and more. Berton states that “mindfulness meditation originates from Buddhist teachings and is the most popular and researched form of meditation in the West”. Mindfulness is the act of acknowledging your thoughts, sitting with them, and allowing them to pass. It involves noticing any sounds that you may hear, any smells that you can smell, or things that you can feel. During this type of meditation, it is common to focus on the breath, and notice the physical sensations that come from breathing. Cuncic states that “the basic premise of mindfulness-based meditation is  learning to detach from anxious thoughts. This is achieved by practicing awareness, identifying tension in the body, understanding your thinking patterns, and learning how to deal with difficult emotions.”  One must allow thoughts to happen in order to detach from those thoughts. This allows one to remove judgement for their way of thinking, and to understand why certain thoughts come up, so that eventually one can correct their thought processes. Pushing thoughts and feelings to the side is not healthy because they will come up at some point. 

Meditation has neurological benefits that have been confirmed by fMRIs and EEG. A study conducted at Johns Hopkins took a look at the relationship between mindfulness meditation and its ability to help symptoms of anxiety, depression, and pain. Alice G. Walton states that  “Researcher Madhav Goyal and his team found that the effect size of meditation was moderate, at 0.3. If this sounds low, keep in mind that the effect size for antidepressants is also 0.3, which makes the effect of meditation sound pretty good. Another study was conducted at Yale University that revealed mindfulness meditation “decreases activity in the default mode network or DMN, the brain network responsible for mind wandering and self-referential thoughts”, says Alice G Walton. Mind wandering can lead to unwanted thoughts or worrying. Many studies show that meditation quiets down the DMN, allowing you to become better at snapping back into reality when the mind wanders. There was another study done at Johns Hopkins where they discovered that mindfulness meditation has the ability to reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and pain. It can also help social anxiety and addiction, which are common struggles in society. 

References 

A beginner’s guide to meditation. (2020, April 22). Retrieved December 04, 2021, from https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858.

Cuncic, A. (2020, December 10). The benefits of meditation for generalized anxiety disorder. Retrieved December 04, 2021, from https://www.verywellmind.com/the-benefits-of-meditation-for-generalized-anxiety-disorder-4143127

Casabianca, S. (2021, June 23). Meditation for anxiety symptoms: Does it work? Retrieved December 04, 2021, from https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/meditation-for-anxiety

Anxiety disorders. (n.d.). Retrieved December 04, 2021, from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders

Chow, S. (2021, March 18). Meditation history. Retrieved December 04, 2021, from https://www.news-medical.net/health/Meditation-History.aspx

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10 Responses to definition rewrite- chickennugget444

  1. I’d like some critiques on the wording of my essay. Please bring to my attention any awkward wording/unnecessary words as well as any grammar mistakes. I’d really appreciate any advice on what I could do to make this essay a bit stronger.

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  2. davidbdale says:

    Just in case you think your references are in proper format, chickennugget, I want to be sure to tell you they’re not. I appreciate the links, but any reader would want to know the author, title, publication, etc BEHIND the title before clicking.

    APA Citation

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  3. davidbdale says:

    A general note on paragraph structure. Each paragraph should develop a single main idea. Given the structure you’ve chosen for your essay, you are indicating to readers that you have just one idea to share in your body copy, plus an introduction and a conclusion to frame that idea.

    I’ve broken your paragraph into pieces each time you shift away from one idea:

    A generalized anxiety disorder can cause significant issues in areas of life having to do with school, work, and even social interactions.

    There are ways to alleviate some of the symptoms of anxiety such as taking medication.

    However, meditation has proven to be just as helpful.

    According to Susan Chow, “Meditation is an ancient practice that is believed to have originated in India several thousand years ago. Throughout early history, the practice was adopted by neighboring countries quickly and formed a part of many religions throughout the world”. Meditation teachings made their way into Western Cultures during the 18th century. Since then, it has become more popular and is now recognized as a great technique for managing one’s well being and mental health.

    According to Holly Berton, there are many different types of meditation including mindfulness meditation, spiritual meditation, focused meditation, mantra meditation, visualization meditation, and more. Berton states that “mindfulness meditation originates from Buddhist teachings and is the most popular and researched form of meditation in the West”.

    Mindfulness is the act of acknowledging your thoughts, sitting with them, and allowing them to pass. It involves noticing any sounds that you may hear, any smells that you can smell, or things that you can feel. During this type of meditation, it is common to focus on the breath, and notice the physical sensations that come from breathing. Cuncic states that “the basic premise of mindfulness-based meditation is learning to detach from anxious thoughts. This is achieved by practicing awareness, identifying tension in the body, understanding your thinking patterns, and learning how to deal with difficult emotions.” One must allow thoughts to happen in order to detach from those thoughts. This allows one to remove judgement for their way of thinking, and to understand why certain thoughts come up, so that eventually one can correct their thought processes. Pushing thoughts and feelings to the side is not healthy because they will come up at some point.

    Like

  4. davidbdale says:

    Observe how many times you “switch agents” in your first paragraph, ChickenNugget:
    —It is common for PEOPLE
    —to struggle with THEIR mental health
    —With the busy lives that WE all live,
    —anxiety is a common emotion ONE may experience
    —IT is expected to experience stress and feelings of worry.
    —EVERYONE deals with at times
    —a huge impact on SOMEONE’S life.
    —a PERSON with a generalized anxiety disorder
    —PEOPLE with anxiety disorders also struggle
    —more stress than THE AVERAGE PERSON
    —AMERICANS struggle with these symptoms

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  5. davidbdale says:

    6.9 Americans struggle with these symptoms

    Really? Nearly 7 Americans? That’s an epidemic!
    🙂

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  6. davidbdale says:

    What distinguishes “people with anxiety disorders” from people whose lives are in such chaotic disarray, whose situations are so intolerable, that chronic anxiety is a natural reaction?

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  7. davidbdale says:

    No phrase is less helpful than “significant issues,” ChickenNugget:

    A generalized anxiety disorder can cause significant issues in areas of life having to do with school, work, and even social interactions.

    But a close second is “having to do with”:

    A generalized anxiety disorder can cause significant issues in areas of life having to do with school, work, and even social interactions.

    Seek such phrases in all your work and replace them with specific, vivid examples and illustrations, such as:

    Sufferers are far more likely to fail in school or drop out, to lose their jobs or stall in their careers, to divorce or fail to make long-term commitments to life partners.

    They are sick more often, suffer more severe symptoms, and die younger; they are more likely to declare bankruptcy and to be rejected for bank loans and mortgages; they are three times as likely to be evicted from apartments than renters who do not experience aimless, sourceless, generalized anxiety; and their own assessment of life satisfaction is that “life sucks.”

    Obviously, I made up all of those situations, but you get the point. Nobody cares about “significant issues in areas of life having to do with school, work, and even social interactions.”

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  8. davidbdale says:

    Let’s start there, CN. I hope it was helpful.
    I’ll require your response and significant revisions to your draft before I can provide any additional interference.
    Thanks! 🙂

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  9. chickennugget444 says:

    Thanks so much for you revisions, this was very helpful. I changed up the first paragraph a lot, I moved things around and got rid of words like “person” or “people” I also tried to make it so that each paragraph is its own idea.

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  10. chickennugget444 says:

    Also, I moved the paragraph about the scientific findings and evidence so that it comes before the paragraph about what meditation is and how it is done. Do you think that is a good idea?

    Like

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