Visual Rewrite – Lily4Pres

Hoop | Child Car Safety | Ad Council

0:01 : The first frame of the advertisement depicts two young children of dark complexion. The camera is at the children’s eye level, a couple feet in front of them. In the background, we can see their house and the front lawn that accompanies the house. The house has a blue siding with white siding around their windows. From what is in the frame, the visible part of the house is one story. The house has two pillars outside the front door to support an awning. On both sides of this awning, the front of the house borders well developed bushes or tall plants. Directly leading from the front door to the two children is a brick laid pathway. The front lawn is kept very neat, mowed recently and maintained well. The only item other than the house we can see on this lawn is the back half of a wagon on the left side of the frame. At the back of the frame, we can see a bush splitting across their lawn to divide their lawn from their neighbors. Giving the notion of a very typical, suburban area and suburban house layout, assumption is noted that the frame is being shot from the driveway that is not currently visible. This assumption leaves the driveway on the right side of the house with the majority of the lawn being on the left. With the children standing on the portion of the lawn that borders the driveway. The setting is relatable to the majority of people that would see this advert, being a typical suburbia household.

The child on the left is, presumably, a female who is holding a basketball in her right hand. She is wearing a scrimmage vest. also known as a pinnie. We can make the assumption that she is either coming home from a basketball practice, about to leave for a basketball practice, or is playing basketball outside. Under her pinnie she has a grey t-shirt with a rainbow we can at the top of the pinnie’s collar. From the size of the basketball in her hand, roughly 3/5 of her torso, we can assume she is somewhere between 6-8 years old. She has a short afro with a headband pushing the hair off her forehead. She is also chewing a piece of gum. Her eyes are fixated on something above her, simultaneously above and behind the positioning of the camera. With her eyes focusing on something off the screen, we are left in suspense. The director wants us to predict what she is fixated on.

The child on the right is a male who is leaning on a bicycle. The boy is a about half his head shorter than what we can assume to be his sister to his left. However, he is slouching over to lean on the bike, so he is presumably a little taller, similar to his sister in height. He’s wearing a plain navy shirt with what looks like grey sweatpants or sweat-shorts of some sort. He has a short buzzcut. His eyes, like his sisters, are fixated on something above and behind the positioning of the camera. Further pushing the suspense that something is going on behind the camera. Possibly relating to the attire of the sister or basketball that the sister is playing or about to play.

0:06 : When the frame switches, we are enlightened that the two kids were indeed sitting at the edge of the lawn, bordering a concrete driveway. The camera has changed places to the front of the driveway, revealing the front face of the house and two other figures in the driveway. These figures are presumably the mother and father of the two children. The mother is standing about 5 feet to the right of the younger brother, the mother is wearing a red and white plaid shirt with a pair of blue jeans. She is also fixated towards the same thing the two children are fixated towards. What they’re focusing on is, presumably the father, standing on top of a three-step stool eye level with a basketball net. This certifies our assumption that the eyes were fixated on something related to the daughter’s basketball attire.

With the rest of the house being shown, we can see the garage which happens to be open. Revealing a grey van alongside a few bikes. A typical garage for a suburban family, another way for the majority of the audience to connect with the advertisement. With the house being shown, we can also change our previous assumption that it was a one story house, to the fact that it is a two story house.

0:09 : After a few seconds that show an interaction between the father and the other three where he seems to be boasting about the basketball net which he seemingly fixed. The net then collapses. The backboard comes off the hinges and crashes into the ground. The daughter jumps back in fright while her brother grits his teeth in disappointment. The only emotion on the mother’s face happens to be disappointment, she must be used to the father failing handyman tasks. The father, still standing atop of his stool is frozen in shock after the hoop he was boasting about has been destroyed once again. The backboard lands on the ground right side up, staring at the camera at the front of the driveway. The frame stays like this for five whole seconds, for emphasis on the disappointment of what just occurred.

0:16 : The frame changes to a close-up of the daughter who goes on a brief monologue. With the captions on, she compares her father’s apparent love by attempting to build her net with the love he puts into his marriage. This changes the notion of the advert. What we first saw as a father trying to fix his daughter’s net. Is now seen as the father is a lovable father and spouse who puts every ounce of effort he has into his family. With this change in idea fresh in the mind, the next frame changes to an animated frame.

0:23 : The backdrop of the animated frame is sky blue with a small logo in the center. The logo depicts a kids car seat with a seatbelt present. Below the logo, is a URL to By acknowledging the “.gov” of the URL, we now know this is a government produced advert. The connection between what was witnessed and their end-goal is clear. The father went through tedious work to fix this basketball net for his daughter and his son. In the end, through the efforts of his love, the net still did not suffice for their needs. If the father is willing to put this much effort and time into making his children happy, he should be able to put the little effort into finding the correct car seat to protect his children. The government producing this child safety ad makes us believe that they want to keep their children safe. No government will advertise the opposition of child safety. The link is short, giving the idea that it is very simple to go the site and follow the steps, that will lead to finding children the correct car seat.

0:28 : The last frame of the video brings back the view of the driveway with the broken backboard on the ground. The mother who seemed to be overwhelmed with disappointment, walks away into the house. Although this might be a stretch, this scene could possibly reference his wife leaving him if he failed to protect his children with the correct car seat (build the hoop).

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