Practice opening-zipemup1

Polio eradication is a goal that the world is not yet prepared to achieve. The world is currently too preoccupied with other crises to devote resources on eradicating Polio. Because of the huge Covid epidemic that the globe is currently facing, there is no room and effort to deal with Polio. Also today’s world is far too distrustful to ever join the fight against the matter. Even now Covid is affecting everyone’s lives now in some manner, and most are still unwilling to obtain the covid vaccination extending the current pandemic. Because Polio is not prevalent in their own country, the majority of the globe has been desensitized to the issue. For the reasons stated is why the world is not yet ready to eradicate Polio.

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1 Response to Practice opening-zipemup1

  1. davidbdale says:

    I like the bold, categorical claim of your first sentence, Zipemup.
    1. Your followup sentence indicating that preoccupation with COVID is preventing polio vaccination lacks imagination. If we’re launching a global COVID vaccination campaign, why not deliver a drop on the tongue of polio vaccine to everyone who’s willing to “get the jab”?
    2. Distrust is an obstacle, but it’s certainly not global. You’d need some strong evidence to suggest that it is.
    3. “Most are still unwilling” is not factually correct. It’s bold but untrue. You can’t afford false claims when you’re trying to persuade readers.
    4. Desensitization based on unfamiliarity with polio is your best argument.
    5. Weak conclusion.

    You have good instincts, Zip. Your structure is fine. But this needs a rewrite. Whether you choose to revise is your option, but I expect you to respond either way to demonstrate your respect for the feedback process. Thanks!

    Like

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