Definition Rewrite – chickennugget246

Seat Belts Can Kill

A healthy 49-year-old man instantly died in a car accident. The cause of death was from a seat belt. He suffered deadly compressions where the seat belt injured his neck, chest, and torso. In addition, abrasions and lacerations were found from his upper left shoulder to the front, right side of his body. There were also hematomas of clotted blood found around the muscles of his throat and larynx. According to Fares Najari from “An Immediate Death by Seat Belt Compression; A Forensic Medicine Report – PMC,” the cause of death was the “compression of neck critical elements such as carotid sinus by a three-point safety belt.” A seat belt can indeed be a dangerous piece of equipment used by a driver in an automobile and it can even threaten one’s human life. In “Seat Belt Statistics,” it has been reported that, “in approximately 37,133 cases in 2017 who died in car accidents, 17,452 people were not wearing a seatbelt and 19,681 were wearing a seatbelt.” This clearly shows that more than half of the people died from car accidents while wearing a seat belt compared to people who were not wearing a seat belt. We would assume that wearing a seat belt would save a life or reduce suffering an injury, but actually this is incorrect. Wearing a seat belt causes death and severe injury to an individual. Seat belts must not be that effective after all. In fact, wearing a seat belt increases the likelihood of suffering a severe seat belt injury. We cannot be injured by a seat belt if we are not wearing one. Eliminating the seat belt would produce a more alert driver who could have avoided this accident and saved his life. 

Such seat belt injuries can be seen as abrasions, bruises and cuts. The tremendous force of the seat belt is so incredibly strong, that it will cause more severe injuries to the one wearing it. So, eliminating the seat belt, eliminates this trauma. According to “Seat belt syndrome: Delayed or missed intestinal injuries, a case report and review of literature,” “the use of seat belts is associated with a unique injury profile collectively termed the seat belt syndrome.” This is one of the most severe types of seat belt injury, which occurs when the seat belt restricts the body of the passenger during a collision, causing damage to the internal organs. Even though the seat belt is carefully designed to restrain the upper body of the driver to prevent injury in the event of an accident, the force of that very same seat belt would injure the chest area of the individual. According to “Seat Belt Injuries,” in addition to this area, the most common internal organs affected by wearing a seat belt are the spleen, liver, and bowel. It is possible for a seat belt to tear the colon or diaphragm and even fracture or dislocate the lumbar vertebrae. This type of spinal cord injury would cause the spine to compress causing paralysis or even death. Wearing a seat belt in an automobile, being the driver or a passenger, is potentially harmful. Instead, eliminating the culprit would empower the driver to have the presence, confidence, and diligence to operate the vehicle more safely and cautiously.

An equally important piece of information is that the seat belt could actually prevent the passenger from escaping harm. For instance, if an impact is on the driver’s side of the vehicle, the seat belt could prevent the driver from moving to the passenger side of the vehicle. This could cause the driver to be harmed since the body of the driver would be locked into position on the driver’s side. Why take the chance of putting on a seat belt willingly, when knowingly it could potentially harm you?

Taking control in one’s vehicle, understanding the machine you are in, controlling the vehicle, understanding your environment, and being confident and conscious in your surroundings, are all factors that contribute to the safety on any road or highway. According to “Car Safety Physics – Limitations vs Benefits,” “seat belt use tends to increase risk-taking in drivers. This could lead to an increase in more severe accidents, which, in turn, reduces or mitigates the effectiveness of seat belts.” Therefore, safety in a vehicle is primarily determined by the state of mind by its drivers, not by the type of equipment used in the motor vehicle. Considering a driver of a motorcycle, the motorcyclist does not have any equipment of vehicle safety. There are no seat belts, padding, doors, windows, steel, or any installed air bags. However, notice how cautious and precise they are as they use the proper hand signals while operating the motorcycle. In addition, the driver of the motorcycle must use defensive driving techniques while operating a motorcycle. In the same way, the driver of an automobile should be expected to respect the road, without a seat belt, in order to save lives from deadly seat belt injuries. 

In summary, seat belts are supposed to be designed to protect passengers, not significantly harm or cause the death of a motor vehicle driver. Eliminating seat belts from automobiles would reduce the number of auto accidents by producing drivers that would be more cautious behind the wheel. Putting the operator of a vehicle in control would promote a safer, more determined driver, and in turn, save lives.

References

Al-Ozaibi, L., Adnan, J., Hassan, B., Al-Mazroui, A., Al-Badri, F. (2016). “Seat belt syndrome: Delayed or missed intestinal injuries, a case report and review of literature.” International Journal of Surgery Case Reports. Volume 20. Pages 74-76.

Huecker, MR, Chapman, J. (2022, September 9). “Seat Belt Injuries.” 

Najari, F. (2015, October). “An Immediate Death by Seat Belt Compression; A Forensic Medicine Report – PMC.” National Library of Medicine. Retrieved March 6, 2023.

Seat Belt Statistics.” The Zebra. (2023, January 31).

Vigodski, V. “Car Safety Physics – Limitations vs Benefits.” Weebly. 2023. Retrieved March 6, 2023.

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11 Responses to Definition Rewrite – chickennugget246

  1. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    Hey, ChickenNugget.
    Your paragraphs are ridiculously long.
    Do the width/height test.
    Enlarge your screen display until the width of your paragraphs PLUS the width of the right-hand sidebar fill the screen. Your paragraphs should each fit into the screen display, not bleeding off to the top or bottom.

    When I do that, your Introduction presses against the absolute maximum length for any good paragraph.
    Your 2nd and 3rd grossly exceed the limit.

    Think of it this way:
    Every paragraph should contain and develop ONE MAIN IDEA.
    WHENEVER my text transitions from one idea to another, I should start a new paragraph, then develop the new idea.
    If I have only two MAIN IDEAS in my entire essay, why did I need 1000 words?

    Like

  2. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    I trimmed your first paragraph:

    A healthy 49-year-old man died instantly in a car accident. Cause of death: seat belt.
    He suffered deadly compression where the seat belt bruised his neck, chest, and torso, plus abrasions from the upper left shoulder diagonally to his right waist and hematomas of clotted blood in the muscles of his throat and larynx. “Compression of neck-critical elements such as carotid sinus by a three-point safety belt” caused his fatal injuries. In approximately (name the number per year) cases, a seat belt contributes to a highway death. Eliminating the seat belt would produce a more alert driver who could have avoided this accident and saved his life.

    Want more advice? It’s always available to students who engage in the Feedback CONVERSATION.

    Graded. Eligible for Regrade following substantial revision.

    Like

  3. chickennugget246's avatar chickennugget246 says:

    Thank you for the feedback! I will make my paragraphs shorter. Overall, is this a well-written definition argument?

    Like

  4. chickennugget246's avatar chickennugget246 says:

    I revised. Can you please let me know your thoughts when you have time? Thank you!

    Like

  5. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    Your paragraphing is better, ChickenNugget, and you’ve made many language improvements that help readers better understand your claims.

    To earn the best grade you’ll need to upgrade your Citations. Here you name some statistics and even directly quote SOMEONE without identifying the sources of your evidence.

    Review this:

    Citation Mechanics

    Like

  6. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    ChickenNugget, in your P2, when you enumerate the many ways seat belts cause injury, you punctuate each of your gory details with the comment that they “COULD” be caused by seat belts. 8 times! Maybe the numbers are startlingly high. Maybe you’re embarrassed to mention them. But readers are not well convinced by claims that hypotheticals might occur. Find some numbers on injuries to beef this up.

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  7. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    I do love the motorcycle comparison. It makes such good sense if you can ACTUALLY SHOW that NOT having a seat belt or ANY passive restraints makes motorcycle riders LESS LIKELY to die in a collision. Do you have a number on that? Or one for people who died because their seat belts prevented them from exiting their cars?

    Like

  8. chickennugget246's avatar chickennugget246 says:

    I revised and fixed my citations! Could you let me know if this is more of what you are looking for?

    Like

    • davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

      Better for sure, ChickenNugget.
      Notice where I’ve split your long paragraph into two.
      Notice also that I left you Feedback on your Research paper about how to Wield this Statistic:

      “in approximately 37,133 cases in 2017 who died in car accidents, 17,452 people were not wearing a seatbelt and 19,681 were wearing a seatbelt.” Eliminating the seat belt would produce a more alert driver who could have avoided this accident and saved his life. 

      Regraded

      Like

  9. chickennugget246's avatar chickennugget246 says:

    I revised my first paragraph!

    Like

  10. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    Nice work.
    Regraded SAT APR 29

    Like

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