Invasive species have been a problem since the introduction of trade and transportation, which had unanticipated consequences and long-term effects that have been ignored around the world. Such as the diseased-ridden rats traveling from the silk road that caused the bubonic plague or the well-known Asian Longhorn Beetle, which has infested trees in America and is eating them from the inside, destroying the ecosystem and overall natural state of the country.
Spotted Lanternflies are similar to invasive species pushovers in that they eat fruit for its nutrients, which is why they have been scouring America’s orchards. Eventually, the lanternflies will lay their eggs within host trees for the next generation in America. Such behavior from this plant hopper can cause major problems for farmers and community, which would eventually lead to a shortage of fruit and more dead trees in the future.
This is strong work, Levix. It contains bold clear claims about the lanternfly, essential background information about its life-cycle and its impact on agriculture, and a very instructive analogy to well-known invasive species from history.
You don’t QUITE make the analogy clear in one regard. Your introduction identifies “trade and transportation” as the vehicles for the invaders to invade, but you neglect to connect them to the lanternfly. Did they get here in shipments from overseas?
Your first sentence is a little weaker than it needs to be, a little too general.
—”have been a problem” is not exactly compelling
—”unanticipated consequences” can actually be a good thing, so that’s too vague
Your second sentence contains rats and disease and a plague. Why not lead with that? THEN you could tell us trade and transportation were the culprit.
Your choice of longhorn beetles as your second comparison is a good choice since it’s another bug that eats trees like the lanternfly.
Keep scouring the vague from your language. Replace these:
—”which would eventually lead to”
Bold is better. Specific and bold is best.
Whether or not you find this advice helpful, Levix, I require a response to show that you value the feedback process. Thanks!
This is very helpful and thank for this feedback professor