25 Class TUE NOV 30

25 Class TUE NOV 30

Portfolio Category
  • You will need to show revision cycles for your Portfolio.
    • IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY RECEIVED FEEDBACK ON TWO SHORT ARGUMENTS:
      • Choose a Short Argument (Definition, Causal, or Rebuttal)
      • Add it to the Feedback Please category
      • In a Reply below your chosen Argument, leave a detailed note describing the sort of feedback you require.
        • If you fail to leave detailed instructions, you will receive no feedback.
  • Check Banner for Evaluation of Teacher Effectiveness
    • If you have received this notice, I’ll give you class time to complete the Evaluation
  • Tips for APA Style Citation and References

Revision Examples

helmet

Taking helmets out of football is a very counterintuitive idea itself.

Taking helmets out of football is counterintuitive.

It may seem as if this will hurt the players, but in fact it will help protect the players.

Playing unprotected will help players, not hurt them. 

No helmets will make keep players from taking risky, hard hits, and cause them to have more caution when playing the game.

Playing bareheaded will keep players from tackling head-first, sparing them from head, neck, and brain injuries.

They all will be protected from severe concussions, spinal cord injuries, and developing CTE later in life.

They will be protected from severe concussions, spinal cord injuries, and late-developing CTEs.

There is however, some opposition to this counterintuitive idea.

There is, however, some opposition to this counterintuitive idea.

Many people feel as if there would be no change to the amount of head injuries sustained in a football game.

Many people feel there would be no reduction to the number of head injuries sustained in a football game.

They feel as if players will still hit hard, and make risky plays.

They feel players will still hit hard and make risky plays.

Today football helmets are evolving more and more everyday.

Football helmets are evolving.

Risk compensation is when protective equipment prompts individuals to act more aggressively which increases the potential for injury.

“Risk compensation” is the tendency of players to risk injury through reckless play when equipment upgrades make them feel invulnerable.

If you give an individual better protective equipment, they are going to have an increase in aggression, causing more injuries.

More-protective equipment encourages reckless play, causing more injuries.

Helmets may have been upgraded, and made to absorb hits, but they still do the same damage.

Today’s helmets absorb more hits, but players’ brains suffer the same damage.


Resources for Improving your Work before Portfolio

PORTFOLIO TASK

Annotated Bibliography

  • DUE DATE TUE DEC 07

Portfolio Task

End-of-Semester Schedule

  • THU DEC 02.
    • The first draft of your 3000-word Research Position Paper will be due.
    • This is the compilation of your three short 1000-word arguments carefully combined into a single well-reasoned research paper that is the culmination of your semester’s work on a single hypothesis.)
  • TUE DEC 07.
    • Our last full-class meeting for the semester. 
    • Your Annotated Bibliography and Reflective Statements will be due, completing your Portfolio.
    • On our last day in class, we will double-check your Portfolio for completeness, certify it complete, and schedule your Final Grade Conference.
  • Finals Week FRI DEC 10—THU DEC 16.
    • We will not meet as a class.
    • Instead of a Final Exam, you’ll meet with your professor one time in a one-on-one Zoom room to conduct your “Final Grade Conference.”
    • Conferences will be held on MON DEC 13, TUE DEC 14, and WED DEC 15.
  • Only 4 classes remain.
    • Counting today.
    • Your Portfolio deadline is just two weeks away.
  • If you’ve been keeping up.
    • By now you have posted your 3 short arguments (Definition, Causal, and Rebuttal)
    • You have posted your Visual Rhetoric Rewrite
    • You have a robust White Paper with purposeful summaries of 10-15 mostly academic sources ready to export to your Annotated Bibliography.
    • You’ll have no trouble posting the first draft of your Research Position Paper by THU DEC 02.
  • There are no deadlines for your Short Paper Rewrites.
    • But when your Portfolio is complete, on TUE DEC 07, it will have to include TWO of your THREE short arguments (you choose which two).

16 Responses to 25 Class TUE NOV 30

  1. littlecow24 says:

    -Your portfolio includes the 3000 word essay that is comprised of the 3 main short arguments we have written
    -A revision cycle must be shown to portray a commitment to revision
    -If wanting/needing feedback, reply to your post with a specific question to help you

    -A wordy sentence does not mean it sounds more academic
    -A straight to the point sentence with no useless words sounds cleaner and is a much better sentence
    -You get a chance to include more when you eliminate unnecessary language
    -If you give an individual better protective equipment, they are going to have an increase in aggression, causing more injuries. —-> More-protective equipment encourages reckless play, causing more injuries.
    -Get rid of if, then
    -Try to get rid of questioning statements like “Helmets may have been upgraded”
    -Look through “scholarship plus and minus” to see what you need to look out for

    -Your annotated bibliography used the sources from your white paper
    -Citations are APA style
    -Put in feedback please to receive feedback

    Like

  2. zzbrd2822 says:

    In class today, we discussed due dates for the Portfolio assignments and what is included in the Portfolio. You will need to show revision cycles for your Portfolio, so you should make sure you ask for feedback and ask specific questions regarding what type of feedback you want. In a reply below your chosen argument, leave a detailed note describing the sort of feedback you require. You should also complete the Evaluation of Teacher Effectiveness survey if you have received it. The first draft of the 3000-word Research Position Paper will be due on December 2nd. The Annotated Bibliography and Reflective Statements will be due on December 7th. When the Portfolio is complete, it will have to include two of your three short arguments (you choose which two). We then looked at revision examples to help with revising our essays. We analyzed revised sentences regarding helmets being taken out of football. We discussed how to include brevity in our writing and to improve grammar. We also went over resources for improving your work before the portfolio is due. Last, we reviewed the specifics of the Annotated Bibliography and what is expected.

    Like

  3. toastedflatbread22 says:

    Reminders
    -Paper is due on Thursday, however, we can keep changing them until then
    -For feedback, ask specific questions in the comments section
    Revisions
    -Polishing sentences will make the paper cleaner, smoother, and more effective
    -Look at the examples on the agenda page for help with revising
    -At the end of the writing process, look into the magical dependency, brevity and clarity, scholarship plus and minus, and final polish workshop pages
    Annotated Bibliography
    -The annotated bibliography consists of at most 15 sources
    -First, it includes the bibliographic information (use EasyBib for this)
    -Then, provide background information on the article
    -Then, explain how the article was used

    Like

  4. friendoftacos says:

    A self-reflective statement is almost a bragging piece of writing. It discusses what you have improved upon in the semester. In revisions of writing, it is important to take out unnecessary words. You get a chance to say more when you get rid of all the unnecessary language.

    Like

  5. Lunaduna says:

    Notes 11/30/2021

    • Annotated Bibliography
    o Due 12/7
    o Annotated Bibliography and Reflective Statements will be due, completing the Portfolio
    o Uses sources from white paper
     Citations in APA style

    • Reflective statement
    o Due 12/7

    • Portfolio
    o Pick 2 out of the 3 short arguments
    o Make sure to place these arguments in the “Feedback category”
     Also leave a detailed note on the type of feedback – wished to have
    o Annotated bibliography and reflective statement (also added)
    o 3,000-word research paper & visual rhetoric

    • Revision examples
    o Original: “Taking helmets out of football is a very counterintuitive idea itself.”
    o Fixed: “Taking helmets out of football is counterintuitive.”
     Simplicity is key – state the point faster so the audience can have a clear understanding
    o Original: “No helmets will make keep players from taking risky, hard hits, and cause them to have more caution when playing the game.”
    o Fixed: “Playing bareheaded will keep players from tackling head-first, sparing them from head, neck, and brain injuries.”
     The original does not create a clear statement on what the author is augmenting about (Or what he believes in)

    • Resources for improving essays before placing them into the portfolio
    o Revision—Brevity and Clarity
     Word counts only count the “words” rather than ideas
    o Magical Dependency
    o Revision—Scholarship Plus and Minus
    o Final Polish Workshop
     Make sure to explain the statistics without the audience drawing their own conclusions
    • Listed under 11/30/2021 (class)

    Like

  6. sunshinegirl457 says:

    Talking with the class about what we’ve learned this semester really made me realize how the lectures have improved my writing, as well as got me thinking counterintuitively.
    With the semester wrapping up, we went over what is still due and what’s included in the portfolio.
    Going over the football helmet sentences reinforced how useful it is to have brief but clear claims. This is something I will take with me and use in all my writing, even long after this course is finished.
    -Always get ride of useless, confusing pronouns in a sentence.
    -Get rid of “may”, “might be”, and “seem” when something is certain, because these cast doubt unnecessarily.
    Make sure to capitalize on anecdotes.
    The references page at the end of the research paper only includes the sites that were used in that paper. If you specifically put the title, author, date, and quoted it, it belongs in the references page. But if there are sources you merely consulted but didn’t add to the paper, they go into the annotated bibliography. Each one needs a citation, background, and how I used it section.

    Like

  7. Notes 9/30
    The portfolio will be due in two weeks
    First draft of 3000 word research paper is due Thursday – present your thesis clearly, establish its legitimacy with ample evidence from academic sources, and defend against the most persuasive counterarguments.
    Last class of the semester is December 7th – Annotated bibliography is due
    For annotated bibliography, provide background and how it was used by doing purposeful summaries
    Revision examples
    Eliminate “Seems as if”
    No helmets will keep players from taking risky, hard hits, and cause them to have more caution when playing the game. “No helmets” is confusing. “Cause them to have more caution” is weak- “play more cautiously” would be better
    “You” should not be used
    Use statistics effectively

    Like

  8. imaspookyghost says:

    going over the end of semester schedule regarding details and deadlines for the end of semester assignments. Portfolio drafts and final copy.
    decreasing wordy ness in sentences. getting rid of useful words.
    bibliography structure and details
    going over all the resources available to students for the end of semester schedule and assignments.

    Like

  9. strawberryfields4 says:

    Due Dates
    -First draft of 3,000 word research paper- Thursday 12/2
    -Portfolio- Thursday 12/7
    -Annotated bibliography and self reflective statement- Thursday 12/7

    Feedback Please
    -Place any items that need feedback in this category with a detailed description of the feedback desired
    -Can simply ask for a “copy edit” regarding grammar and syntax
    -Can also ask for a review of sequencing, pattern, organization, or logic
    -Research paper can be revised up until before grade conferences

    Grade Conferences
    -Will be held during finals week (Monday 12/13- Wednesday 12/15)
    -One-on-one meeting over zoom that must be scheduled

    Sentence Revisions
    -Trim fat to make room for more useful illustrations
    -“As if” implies that it is contrary to what it actually is. There is usually a better way to phrase what you are saying.
    -Making claims clearer and briefer makes them more persuasive and therefore more effective
    -Negatives create confusion that can easily be eliminated (Positives > Negatives)
    -Specificity is key (Ex: “change” should be identified in what direction that change refers to)
    -When introducing a new term, possibly one that you created, introduce it properly and consider using quotation marks
    -“If…then” statements can often be shortened to focus on the real subject
    -“May be” minimizes the importance of a claim and is often unnecessary

    Final Polish
    -Effectively using statistics
    -Do not leave room for readers to draw their own conclusions
    -Make statistical sense out of the numbers used
    -Use quality indicators
    -Mind the effectiveness and clarity in rhetorical techniques used
    -Frame anecdotes to allow them to serve their purpose

    Annotated Bibliography
    -Adapted from the “White Paper”
    -Three points to address: Bibliographic material, background of source, and how you used it

    Like

  10. Lily4Pres says:

    First draft of the final 3000 word essay is due on Thursday. Compile and smooth the three 1000 word essays. Next Tuesday is our last full class meeting, when the annotated bib and reflective statements will be due.
    Portfolio: Pick 2 of the 3 1000 word essays alongside the annotated bib, the final paper, and reflective statement; ending with 8 total items inside the portfolio. The annotated bib holds all of your consulted references, not just the ones you used. That is the difference between the annotated bib and the reference section of the paper. The annotated bib has the citation first (end citation with the date accessed), then a background section, then a “how I used it” section.
    Revision
    Take out the fatty, unnecessary words. Do not use “as if.” Eliminated negatives and making things positive is a great way to getting things straight forward. “No helmets: bareheaded.” Do not cast doubt if possible, no “may” or “maybe.” Do not minimize the importance of your claims.

    Like

  11. calamariii says:

    Use feedback to improve short arguments before using those improvements in the short argument rewrite that will go in the portfolio. The 3000-word research paper is due Dec 2 and is a careful combination of our short arguments into a single research paper. If feedback has not been given yet on short arguments or any paper add the feedback please category to add it to the list to receive feedback. Often wording used can be shorted to say the same thing in fewer words, creating a concise essay. When using sources for any part of the writing process such as clarifying ideas and argument examples, those sources must be cited. Academic integrity includes not representing others’ work as your own, reusing your own work not originally for this class, misrepresenting material and its intentions, or quoting out of context to mislead.

    Like

  12. frogs02 says:

    Today in class we first discussed what we learned from this class and how it has benefited us for the future. We then talked about the research paper. Your portfolio includes the 3000-word essay that comprises the 3 main short arguments we have written. When the Portfolio is complete, it will have to include two of your three short arguments (you choose which two). You have to show your revision throughout the arguments. After the portfolio is completely finished, you have to schedule a final grade conference instead of a final to discuss your grades. We then discussed how some words are just unnecessary. We went over an exercise that had a sentence and we had to revise it to take out those unnecessary words. Most of the time using “as if” is unnecessary. We discussed cause and effect and how we have to use the value of statistics to get a point across. Cause and effect needs to be clear. We then talked about how the resources in the annotated bibliography needs to include background information and how it was used.

    Like

  13. kingofcamp says:

    English Comp II Lecture Notes (11.30.21)

    Overview of the final few days
    o combine three drafts into a longer paper
    o annotated bibliography
    o reflective statement
    o keep working
    o for feedback, ask specific questions—helps boost my position
    Portfolio
    o demonstrate revision cycle
    o a social process
    Annotated Bibliography
    o different from references
    o don’t forget purposeful summaries for each link provided!
    o can be adapted from your white paper (export information)
    o GO TO BLOG PAGE FOR MORE INFORMATION
    Revision Examples (wordiness is not necessary—this applies to me specifically)
    o original: “Taking helmets out of football is a very counterintuitive idea itself.”
    o revised: “Taking helmets out of football is counterintuitive.”
    o original: “It may seem as if this will hurt the players, but in fact it will help protect the players.”
    o revised: “Playing unprotected will help players, not hurt them.”
    o more examples listed (on blog page)
    Reminders
    o evaluation of teacher effectiveness (in emails)
    o keep revising arguments
    o first draft for portfolio due December 2nd
    o WHEN MAKING REVISIONS: being straightforward and minimalistic is powerful and strongly recommended
    o scholarship plus and minus—important

    Like

  14. ziggy026 says:

    3 Drafts go into a final paper
    Culmination of all paragraphs and points
    final 3000 word essay and 3 shorter 1000 word essays
    Revise sentences and trim any unnecessary language
    Be straight to the point and do not use extra words
    Bibliography from white paper

    Like

  15. zipemup1 says:

    We addressed the due dates for the Portfolio assignments and what is contained in the Portfolio in class today.Our first draft of the 3000 word Research Position Paper is due thursday. 

    Like

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