23 Class THU NOV 18

23 Class THU NOV 18

Writing Center Help when you need it.

Located in the Campbell Library but currently operating virtually, the Writing Center offers help to students from experienced tutors eager to assist their peers by appointment.

Rowan Writing Center tutors provide opportunities that enable student writers to discover and develop effective writing and composing practices. We offer a space where writers of many genres can find support at any stage of the writing process.  From brainstorming ideas, organizing them, revising drafts and checking citations, the RWC and its tutors provide a comfortable environment for students to improve and succeed.

Link to the Rowan Writing Center website. Register here, “meet the tutors,” and make an appointment.

A Case Study: Maintaining Control

This is a brilliant opening. A brilliant opening of which anyone should be proud. A brilliant opening that goes wrong almost immediately and surrenders the ground it firmly established.

Women have to work harder in every aspect of life. Thankfully in today’s world, the fight for gender equality has progressed greatly. Despite this progression, there are still some kinks to work out, even in something that unites the world like sports. Throughout the years sports organizations and media have been under fire about the unfair treatment of genders and lack of female representation in televised sports. Women in sports have constantly fought to be represented and respected by not only their male counterparts but the world as a whole. 

  1. Women have to work harder in every aspect of life.
    —What a brilliant first sentence. It unapologetically maps out the territory and the rules. This writer is in command of the subject matter.
  2. Thankfully in today’s world, the fight for gender equality has progressed greatly.
    —And then, gives it back. Women have had to work harder, BUT things are improving. I didn’t really mean it. Pay no attention to me.
  3. Despite this progression, there are still some kinks to work out, even in something that unites the world like sports.
    —No, wait. women do still have to work harder while the kinks are worked out, even in sports, where we wouldn’t expect them to have to fight for equality.
  4. Throughout the years sports organizations and media have been under fire about the unfair treatment of genders and lack of female representation in televised sports.
    —As I was saying in the first sentence, the Olympics, international sports leagues, media outlets, EVERYONE in fact, continues to treat women unfairly.
  5. Women in sports have constantly fought to be represented and respected by not only their male counterparts but the world as a whole. 
    —What was I thinking? “Gender equality has progressed greatly?” That’s what they WANT US to think! I call bullshit on that!
  6. Women have to work harder in every aspect of life, INCLUDING INTERNATIONAL SPORT!

Where does it go wrong? In the second sentence.

How does it go wrong? Magical dependency. We learned about it last Thursday.

Writing Advice

Kevin Youklis Wield Your Statistics

Take Home Task

  1. The Fails for Grammar List
  2. The Grammar Basics Exercise

24 Responses to 23 Class THU NOV 18

  1. zzbrd2822 says:

    In class today, we first discussed how the Writing Center in the Campbell Library is a space where students can find support at any stage of the writing process. It is important to have a different set of eyes to read over your work to provide you with a fresh perspective on your writing. We then reviewed an example opening paragraph regarding women in sports. We pointed out the strong claims it made and the other claims that surrender the ground it firmly established. You need to make sure that you do not make claims that undermine your intended claim. Your reader should not be dancing back and forth trying to understand your position. You should stick to your claim and not waiver from it. Next, we discussed how to properly use statistical evidence to support your claim. You should tell the reader how your number compares to the range of possible numbers. The statistic by itself means nothing until you place it into context. They count on you to guide them to an understanding of the importance of the evidence you present. For example, “A full 50%” would indicate that 50% is more than expected. We looked at a real-life example regarding Michelle Obama speaking on infertility and were tasked to identify a useless sentence. Last, we discussed fails in grammar rules and how to check if you properly followed the rules. We talked about using the correct there/their/they’re and the correct its/it’s. We also discussed the correct use of because and acceptable pronouns and gender. We mentioned the use of counting nouns, to/two/too, punctuating quotes, then/than, and affect/effect.

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  2. minutemen14 says:

    Writing Center
    -Book Appointments soon as they fill up
    -always helps to have another set of eyes
    -In a couple weeks these will be completely booked so get in early

    Brilliant Opening
    -Unbelievable and very striking first sentence
    -They draw back, however, softening up
    -You need to pick either one of the other
    -if not these will go to war with each other
    -The more you’re decisive the less confusing it is for the reader

    Grammar Notes
    -There Their They’re
    -It’s vs Its (Possessive)
    -Use of Because (eliminate “the reason is because”)
    -Pronouns often confuse or are misused
    -To, Too, Two
    -Periods and Commas inside Quotes
    -Then Than
    -Affect/Effect

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  3. ilovedunkinoverstarbucks says:

    Maintaining Control:
    -Women have to work harder in every aspect of life
    -Bold first sentence
    -Maps out territory and rules
    -Writer is in command of subject matter
    -Thankfully in today’s world, the fight for gender equality has progressed
    -Didn’t mean it
    -Pay no attention
    -Things go wrong in the second sentence
    Wield Your statistics:
    -Statistics without direction and velocity are useless
    -Statistics face forward, adopt with a comfortable stance, stare down the opposition, deliver with confidence, and know how to use spin
    -Readers need to be told how your number compares to the range of possible numbers
    -The statistic itself means nothing until you place it into context
    Grammar:
    -There/They’re/Their
    -There:place
    -Their:person
    -They’re: contraction for they are
    -Its/it’s
    -Its: Possessive for it
    -It’s: Contraction for it is
    -Because
    -For the reason that
    -Pronouns and gender
    -Socially insensitive to automatically use a male or female pronoun
    -Count and noncount nouns
    -Use the word number not the word amount to refer to things being counted
    -Use the word fewer not the word less to refer to things that can be counted
    -To/two/too
    -two:number
    -Too: conjunction of and or in addition
    -To: Used in every other case
    -Then/than
    -Then:Used for time
    -Than:Used for consequences with if

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  4. lokiofasgard24 says:

    Opening practice
    -keep your reader on edge not knowing what’s going to happen next
    -allow them to have questions about every sentence then answer in the next, while creating new questions
    -slowly begin to define your topic throughout opening
    Wield your Stats
    -statistics are useless if not used appropriately
    -you must connect statistics to your writing
    -use proper positive or negative(depending on your point) language when expressing your stats
    -confirm your reader understand why your showing certain statistics
    In class task
    -#4 is a useless sentence because it lacks any bias or emotion that could illustrate the point trying to be given.
    Grammar:
    -it’s= it is
    -its= possessive
    -because= for the reason that(don’t be redundant)
    -periods and commas always go inside the quotes
    -than is only used in comparisons
    -affect is a verb
    -effect is a noun

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  5. Lunaduna says:

    11/18/2021

    • Writing center
    o Located in the Campbell Library
    o You should book an appointment before finals week to connect with the tutors
     They can brainstorm ideas, revise drafts, organize essays, and check citations

    • A Case Study: Maintaining Control
    o The first sentence engages the reader
    o Although, the second sentence softens the argument
     “Thankfully in today’s world, the fight for gender equality has progressed greatly” – indicating that women do not have to work as hard
    o The third sentence goes back to the argument mentioned in the first
     “Despite this progression, there are still some kinks to work out, even in something that unites the world like sports” – the author keeps going back and forth
    • The reader will not understand what the author is arguing for or against
    o “Women in sports have constantly fought to be represented and respected by not only their male counterparts but the world as a whole. “
     The reader cannot understand what this sentence means. “Are they still fighting today?” “Was this in the past?”
    o Never waver between two arguments
    o If the organization of the paragraph was different, it would be easier to understand what the author’s argument is
     “The fight for gender equality has progressed greatly, but women still have to work harder in every aspect of life. Despite…”

    • Wield Your Statistics
    o Without velocity and direction, statistics are useless
    o Statistics face forward – delivered well (when the reader is ready)
     Must deflect the opposition
    o Every writer has a number
     But is it a good one?
    • The number counts as a guide to the understanding of evidence the writer presents
     My number is a good number
    • “A full 50%”
    • “As high as 50%”
    o Word choice does matter, using this in a case about how many teen drivers die would not be the best.
     My number is a bad number
    • “A mere 50%”
    • As low as 50%”

     Example: Michelle Obama on her book tour about infertility
    • “Approximately 10% of American women between 18 and 45 who attempt to conceive, experience infertility to some degree”
    o 10% has no meaning
    o The reader has no idea where the number has come from (If the number was once higher or lower before)
     Minor in-class assignment
    • I believe the useless sentence is number 4
    o It does not state whether 10% is a good number or a bad number
     When reading the sentence, I did not understand if the author was saying if the infertility rate was good or bad
    o “Approximately 10% of American women between 18 and 45 who attempt to conceive, experience infertility to some degree”

    • Fails for Grammar
    o We should not have to study grammar in college comp II, but high schools fail to teach students the proper grammar basics
     In academic speech – we are not allowed to use “his” throughout
     Just use plurals! (Because plurals do not have to declare a gender)
    • “Be careful with your antecedents, or your readers will lose their place”
     Affect/Effect
    • Affect – is a verb – “means to influence or to produce a change in something”
    • Effect – is a noun – “means the result of a change”

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  6. kingofcamp says:

    English Comp II Lecture Notes

    o Two songs at once? I like it—interesting
    o Research paper overview
    o coming up: reflection statement, finish white paper, continue to edit short argument papers
    o Writing Center is here to help
    o Maybe check out? Probably should.
    o Schedule an appointment (online)
    o “Women have to work harder in every aspect in life.”
    o Sentences do not have to be fancy to be good. Straightforward sentences are strong (as long as you do it right).
    o “Thankfully in today’s world, the fight for gender equality has progressed greatly.”
    o Following sentences soften the claim (not good)
    o Both sentences are at war with each other
    o “Women in sports have constantly fought to be represented and respected by not only their male counterparts but the world as a whole.”
    o What?
    o A restatement of the initial claim; author did not waiver
    o Read feedback from example paragraph
    o How does this feedback apply to my work?
     It most certainly does.
     Apply it!
    o Statistics
    o Without direction and analysis, statistics are useless
    o Weave statistics into your paper (nicely, strategically)
     Must be delivered with confidence
    o My number is a good number.
     “Readers need to be told how your number compares to the range of possible numbers” (from blog page).
     Do not act dubious with your number
     50 out of what?
    • Be specific!
    • Place your number into context.
    • Words matter! They really do! Use words to your advantage—you need to convince your readers.
    o Real life example
     Michelle Obama on her book tour opened up about her infertility.
    • “ Approximately 10% of American women between 18 and 45 who attempt to conceive, experience infertility to some degree.”
    o Needs context, this quote accomplishes nothing.
    • “The percentage is higher for African-American women.”
    o Needs context, this quote accomplishes nothing.
     twice as high?
     How much higher?
    o Minor In-Class Task: Sentence four is the useless sentence—inconclusive and out of context this sentence is unstable; weak.
    o Fails for Grammar List
     Common grammar mistakes!
     What rules do I need to spend more time on?
    • Rule 2: Its/It’s
    o I make this mistake sometimes—though not often, still.
    • Rule 3: The reason is because—because means for the reason that
    o Most definitely need help!
    • Rule 4A: Pronouns and Gender
    o Plurals do not require gender—just use that.
    o Most of the times you do not need pronouns.
    o Figure out ways not to need pronouns.
    • Rule 4B: Pronouns and Number
    • Rule 5: Count and Noncount Nouns
    o “fewer” is used for a quantity we can count
    o “less” is used for a quantity we cannot count
    • Rule 9: Affect/Effect
    o NEED HELP, I MAKE THIS MISTAKE ALL THE TIME

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  7. spaghettitacosforthesoul says:

    Take advantage of the writing center now before it is bombarded during finals.
    “Women have to work harder in every aspect in every aspect in life” is such a plain but important sentence. But saying “the fight for gender equality has progressed greatly” afterward dilutes the sentence of how hard women have to work.
    Make sure each sentence doesnt contradict one other
    It’s important how statistics is developed in a sentence because the optimism around the number identifies to the reader how it should be interpreted. 50% full 50% empty.
    The useless sentence “10% of American women between 18 and 45—more for African-Americans—who attempt to conceive, experience infertility to some degree.” I chose this one because it doesn’t focus enough on the African women statistic

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  8. littlecow24 says:

    -The writing center at Rowan is still available for us to utilize for our material; our peers will give a new perspective on your work

    “Women have to work harder in every aspect of life. Thankfully in today’s world, the fight for gender equality has progressed greatly.”
    -Although women have to work harder in every aspect of life, the fight for gender equality has progressed greatly
    -Even though the fight for gender equality has progressed greatly, women have to work harder in every aspect of life.
    -Use “justifiably” to make it clear that you agree with the claim to show your stance

    -Statistics are useless of they are not handled correctly
    -Good writers will make sure their statistics are delivered with confidence and know how to be able to spin them if they are newer
    -Place it into context; it means nothing when a statistic stands by itself. 50/51 is much better than 50/100
    -The way you frame statistics creates the correct context for the reader, and the author can shape that context however they want the stats to be perceived
    -I believe that 4 is the useless sentence. The other sentences have clear context in them, such as the “remarkable 90% fertility rate” or “the infertility rate has skyrocketed to 10%.” 4 gives a percentage of American women within a very large age range and is very vague with the context in the sentence.

    -Grammar can change your entire essay
    -they’re/their/there: they are, their (person, company, etc.) is possessive for them, there refers to a place or area or can introduce sentences
    -its/it’s: its is possessive for it, it is
    -use “because” not “the reason that/is”
    -pronouns and gender: a mix of using him/her throughout or using a singular noun and pronoun. “Your reader will lose her place or “your readers will use their place”
    -pronouns and number: if using the pronoun of their or themselves, make the word plural (officer to officers)
    -count and noncount nouns: talk about the number of votes counted, or the amount of votes cast if numbers are not counted exactly. Not “10 or less items” but “10 or fewer items”
    -two/too/to: the number, in addition to and or also, everything else
    -periods and commas with quotes: they go INSIDE the quotes
    -then/than: used for time or consequence (with if), used for comparisons (“Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina.”)
    -affect/effect: affect is a verb while effect is a noun “the cold does not affect me” or “the cold has no effect on me”
    -your/you’re: the possessive adjective for you, you are
    -single/double quotes: only use single quotes inside double quotes

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  9. friendoftacos says:

    A strong opening can be ineffective when it does not stand the ground that it is established on. Your statistic needs to be placed into context otherwise it would mean nothing. How your number compares to the range of possible numbers is something that needs to be told by your readers. It is our job to use the statistic to help guide our readers to understand how important the evidence we provide is. The useless sentence in the Wield Your Statistic’s list is sentence number 5. In sentence number five, the sentence is useless because it does not use the statistics presented in the article above. There are many grammar rules that we should remember while we write. It is important to be cautious of the grammar in your writing.

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  10. mossmacabre says:

    Number 5 is the useless sentence. It makes the intention of the article unclear and uses language that makes light of the serious situation, which is unprofessional.

    Today in class we talked about maintaining control in your paper. Even if you start strong, you have to make sure your writing isn’t flimsy throughout the entire thing. You cannot have only a strong opening and a strong close. We then discussed good ways to use statistics in your paper, and the grammatical and respectful use of pronouns in academic writing. We covered other common grammatical errors such as your/you’re, their/they’re/there, and single quotes/double quotes.

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  11. levixvice says:

    The RWC can help you receive qualified feedback on your paper, allowing you to create the best essay possible and practice with the material needed from tutors. The opening sentence needs to empathize with only one sentence that the author is trying to say in its establishment without contradicting itself. Never waver in your writing, whether in claims or dependency. Withhold Your statistics require the writer to utilize concentration onwards to overcome any obstacles such as analyzation, research, and contextual evidence that are needed for the reader to understand well within a positive or negative result. They’re (they are), their (possessive for them), and there for time, adverb of place or introduction pronoun. “It’s (it is) and it’s (possessive for it)”; “Because (for the reason that) and by. Pronouns and gender must not be “grammatically incorrect or socially insensitive, whether the gender is unknown or the singular is mixed with the plural nouns.” You can figure out how to not use pronouns if you’re not sure. The pronoun represented in numbers must be used with or without pronouns. “Count and noncount nouns by using numbers for counting and amounts for things that aren’t counted yet.” Two is the number, Too (and, in addition, or excessive), and To (a preposition to indicate place, form infinitives, and for the purpose). Periods and commas are inside the quotes. Then (time or consequences) and then (comparisons). Affect (verb or noun form of the verb) and effect (noun). You’re (you are) and Your (possessive adjective for you). single/double quotes for ironic usage of speech for quotes.

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  12. toastedflatbread22 says:

    Reminder
    -The Writing Center has tutors who will help us with our writing-it is a great resource for help and feedback!
    -Do that right away before it gets too close to finals
    Warm-Up
    -In the example paragraph, the opening sentence is strong and firm, however, the second sentence opposes the first, then, the third sentence opposes the second
    -The sentences to follow do not clearly express how the author feels about the situation
    -The writing is strong, but it is at war with itself and it is confusing
    -It causes the reader to waver back and forth on how they feel, which is NOT what you want them to do
    Statistics
    -Statistics are a useful tool in writing, but you have to know how to use them
    -They need to be strong and delivered confidently in order to put an end to the argument
    -You must include context with your stats so that the reader knows why it is important
    -You want to make your stat work with your claim-word it to be positive or negative (“as high as”, “as low as”, “proud to achieve”, “sad to report”, etc.)
    -Just stating the facts leaves your reader in the dark and they don’t know how to feel-spin it and give it some emotion
    Fails for Grammar
    Their/There/They’re
    Its/It’s
    -It’s is a contraction
    -Its is possessive for it
    The reason is because
    -Because means “for the reason that”
    -This is repetitious
    -Usually, it is safe to just use because
    A- Pronouns and Gender
    -It’s not acceptable to use he/him pronouns to a vague person constantly
    -It is acceptable to use she/her pronouns and he/him pronouns interchangeably
    -It is not grammatically correct to refer to one vague person as their (unless that person uses they/them pronouns)
    -At that point, just go plural and they/them pronouns will sound ok
    4) B- Pronouns and Number
    -Pronouns must agree with the nouns they represent
    -They/them pronouns for plural subjects
    -She/her and he/him pronouns for singular subjects
    -There is usually a way to eliminate the pronouns altogether
    Count and Noncount Nouns
    -Use the word “number” to refer to things that can be counted
    -Use the word “amount” to refer to things that cannot be counted
    -Use the word “fewer” for things we can count
    -Use the word “less” for things that we cannot count
    To/Two/Too
    Periods and commas go inside the quotes
    Then/Than
    -Then is used for time
    -Than is used to make comparisons
    Affect/Effect
    -Affect is a verb-it does something
    -Effect is a noun-it describes something (kind of)
    Your/You’re
    Single Quotes/Double Quotes
    -Use single quotes only inside other quotes
    -Use double quotes for everything else

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  13. frogs02 says:

    Today in class we talked about the writing center and how they offer help to students from experienced tutors eager to assist their peers by appointment. Rowan Writing Center tutors provide opportunities that enable student writers to discover and develop effective writing and composting practices. Make sure each sentence doesn’t contradict one another. We then talked about useless sentences and how without statistics, most sentences are useless. Statistics need to sound confident and it needs to be placed correctly for it to be accurate. We then talked about grammar and the differences between There Their They’re, It’s vs Its (Possessive), the use of Because (eliminate “the reason is because”), the pronouns often confuse or are misused, the difference between to, Too, Two, periods and Commas inside Quotes, then vs than, and affect vs effect.

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  14. chickennuget444 says:

    “women have to work harder in every aspect of life” is an example of a good sentence because it provides clarity, and doesn’t contain any unnecessary words
    “thankful in today’s world, the fight for gender equality has progressed greatly” is contradicting- saying the opposite and confusing the reader over which side the author is on
    REPLY to paragraph: I think that the paragraph contains a lot of contradicting statements that make it confusing to figure out if the author’s main argument.
    don’t just provide statistics- they need direction and velocity. having them is pointless if you don’t know how to use them
    find a way to place them in a context that helps the reader understand the statistics value
    saying “the reason is because” is redundant – just say because
    say “readers” instead of he or her to stay gender neutral

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  15. imaspookyghost says:

    writing center help – make an appointment now if you need it.
    example opening – maintaining control.
    the first sentence is clear and simple but also very powerful.
    the first two sentences make it hard to determine which one is the actual topic of the paper.
    the author should indicate with their righting if they agree or disagree with what they are writing about.
    it would not be immediately obvious to me which side the opening paragraph took
    gathering stats is useful only if you find a way to place them in a context that helps your ready to find a way to use them.
    Statistics lecture.
    grammer lesson because highschool is bad at teaching us simple things

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  16. nugget114 says:

    We started off class with discussing how much the writing center can help. If we need help it’s smartest to make an appointment now rather than waiting until after Thanksgiving break.

    Sentences do not always have to be elaborate and intelligent, sometimes clear and cut sentences are better. Referring to the 6 sentences, I didn’t read it all the way through beforehand to know if I would’ve seen the flaws or not. However, after Professor Hodges explained how off balance the paragraph was I fully understood. As he was describing how the author was basically counter arguing his own points instead of making them work together, I realized that I do that in my writing sometimes.

    Apple is not a U.S company anymore, it’s headquarter is located in Ireland because they’re taxes are half of the U.S taxes.

    We discussed failures for grammar and tricks to help you know which version of the word to use. The only one I struggle with that we discussed is affect/effect and after discussion I have more of an understanding.

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  17. krackintheneck says:

    Today in class I learned:
    – In the women need to work harder in every aspect of life paragraph, the author is very vague when speaking about what he/she’s topic is and what they are trying to claim. She/he needs to solidify what they are trying to proclaim and give evidence or something showing the main point of the paragraph. I can guess which side she/he is on but it needs to be clear at the beginning of the paragraph.
    – statistics need direction and show what is compares to and you should define it
    Grammar Errors :
    – because means for the reason that ( replace that for the because and see if it make sense )
    – when a person’s gender is not known, then try and get rid of gender all together or, switch between pronouns to avoid being sexist
    – periods and commas go inside the quotation marks
    – affect is a verb and effect is a noun
    – who vs whom substitute pronouns he or him to see which works
    – only use single quotes when quoting inside the quotation marks

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  18. Lily4Pres says:

    The writing center is there to help. If you think you need help, go get it.
    Case Study
    An opening sentence does not need to be academic to be well-written. “Women have to work harder in every aspect of life.” Be forceful and unapologetic. Don’t put all your weight on one foot then jump to the other foot, stay on the gas. Your reader should be moving forward or backwards, not side to side. I understand that the paragraph is not forceful the full way through, I still would have interpreted it as a pro-women paragraph. Although that is most likely due to my grammatical ignorance and lack of awareness to diction.
    Writing Advice
    Wield your statistics properly, they’re tools that everyone will handle differently. Use whatever item you’d like to, like a soccer ball, it is useless unless there is direction and velocity for it to go into the net. The handling of statistics is what makes them useful, not just having them. The word choice around your statistics will dictate how your readers decipher the statistic. Don’t make your statistics meaningless, give them worth.
    Grammar
    There/Their/They’re
    Its/It’s
    “The reason is because”
    Pronouns and gender/number
    Count and noncount nouns
    To/Too/Two
    Periods and commas inside the quotes: No exceptions.
    Then/Than
    Affect/Effect: affect(verb), effect(noun)
    Your/You’re
    Single quotes/Double quotes
    The banned 2nd person: Do not use “you,” 2nd person is forbidden.
    Plurals and possessives: only use ‘ when a noun is possessive.
    Subject/Verb agreement

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  19. comatosefox says:

    Writing Center; Go get help from the writing center if you don’t get a move on writing the shit you missed. You can even have them revise it for you to help you come up with better wording.

    My own Writing; Changing around some words and the order, would allow for the reader to have a clearer understanding of what stance in the matter I take. Revise this, get food, go somewhere you can get work done and write. You a few classmates writing about your work so take advantage of it.

    Stats and Grammar; Make sure your facts and stats are given the follow through they need to have meaning. Know what your trying to un-prove in order to prove your point.
    We talk about the fails of grammar, look back on it when needed.

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  20. calamariii says:

    The writing center is a good free place to get feedback on papers and support draft revisions. In the opening paragraph we looked at, the author has a very strong first sentence that is immediately weakened by the second paragraph. The last thing that the reader should be worried about is where the author stands. While the author made good points, they were weakened by the hesitation to not pick and stick to a side on where the argument was coming from. While this may not dissuade all readers, there are some who may be on the fence that this opening paragraph pushes away. Just stating a statistic isn’t a strong way to use information as there is nothing to compare it to and no context for what this statistic means. The wording surrounding data and numbers influences how the readers see that number, so with your wording, you must guide your reader to see your argument through that number.

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  21. strawberryfields4 says:

    “Maintaining Control” Case Study
    -An opening should acclimate the reader to your point of view
    -An opening must be simplistic and clear
    -Do not confuse the reader-your point of view should be clear
    -Do not go back and forth when introducing your argument
    -The reader should not have to search for certainty
    -It is the job of the author to emphasize their point of view
    -I agree that the opening paragraph lacks clarity and can easily be revised to make the author’s argument more direct. Combining the sentences to better explain how the issues correlate would serve as a better guide for the reader to understand the argument. The current structure acts as a seesaw, shifting back and forth, without taking a firm stance. The reader should not have to guess the author’s argument, but rather it should be presented to them.

    Using Statistics
    -Simply stating statistics does not support your case
    -The statistic has no relevance without a comparison
    -Place them in a context for the reader to understand their value
    -Describe your number the way you WANT the reader to perceive it
    -Is the glass half full or half empty? Make the reader see it as good or bad (you have that power).
    -Use quality indicators (ex: a mere, as low, or has improved, as high)

    Fails For Grammar
    -Mind “They’re/There/Their,” “It/It’s,” “To/Too/Two,” “Then/Than,” and “Your/You’re”
    -“The reason is because” is redundant (Get to the point and do not waste words)
    -Simple fix is to just say “because”
    -Mind pronouns and gender by eliminating pronouns entirely or using plurals
    -Mind pronouns and numbers by watching singular and plural nouns
    -Count and noncount nouns (number and amount are not the same)
    -Periods and commas inside quotation marks!
    -Affect=Verb and Effect=Noun
    -Single quotes for a quote inside a quote
    -No second person in academic writing. This creates a distance between the author and reader.
    -You can often substitute “we” instead
    -Mind plural and possessives
    -Mind singular and plural subject/verb agreement

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  22. chickendinner says:

    A writer should acknowledge a claim which goes against the argument in a dependent clause rather than granting it its own sentence.
    It is important to provide context when giving readers statistics, so they understand the relevance of the information to the argument being made.
    Things which can be counted should be referred to by “number,” “how many,” and “less.” Those which can’t should be referred to be “amount,” “how much,” and “fewer.” “More” works in either case.
    No 2nd person (in this class).

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  23. zipemup1 says:

    In class today, we first spoke about how the Campbell Library’s Writing Center is a place where students can get help at each step of the writing process. We also went in depth about women in sports and how difficult things are for women. Today we also spoke about the the importance of statistical evidence to support your claim being made. We spoke on how stats can make your claim more believable.

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